Ch-ch-ch-changes

I am a professional actor

Towards the end of my shoot on a wonderful little horror movie, the director forbid me from denying that fact. Mostly because he was sick of me haranguing him for saying he was not a professional director. Don't you hate it when your good advice gets thrown back in your face?

Well, he was right.

I've had a crazy month of August. The first two weeks were taken up by said horror movie and I audited a very inspirational acting course.

The movie reminded me how much fun acting was, how much I loved being on set, and how great it is to be part of a team working passionately towards something that's bigger than yourself. Even the incredibly early morning wake-up calls (did you know there's a 4:30 in the morning now?) only reminded me that I was getting up to go do something I absolutely adore doing (and if that happened to include cutting people in half with a chain saw or sending someone off a cliff, who was I to argue?).

The course made me realize that I was being a lazy actor. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I expected lots of great parts with very little effort or preparation. I'd go into an audition and just expect talent to carry me through. I would complain about how hard I was working to get things done, but I was really wasn't working at all.

So, for an upcoming audition, I prepared like mad. I wasn't going to let old habits stand in the way of what I wanted. I was going to get this part. I read the script a few times and immediately picked a scene that struck a cord with me. I brushed off my monologue and put it on its feet. And then I did something that I never allowed myself to do in the past.
I got help.
Thanks to two really great friends, I got to play with both scene and monologue. They helped me discover things about the characters and make good choices. They were lifesavers.

I arrived at the audition feeling rather grounded. I was feeling happy just to be there. Adequate preparation had already taken away about 50% of my nerves to the point that when I realized there were five extra people in the room than what I had envisioned, I didn't freak out. I was actually glad for the opportunity to play in front of more people. And play I did. I didn't take my self too seriously and had fun. Yes, Nancy, acting is fun!

And then I got a callback.

Wow!

Then I took a page out of my amazing friend's handbook. I went to my resume and added the credit to the list. I was letting the universe know that I believed it could happen.

Guess what? I got the part.

I laughed uncontrollably for about two minutes when I received the news.

Nancy Kenny will be appearing in Rabbit Hole this October at the new Gladstone Theatre (Get your tickets now!)


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On Monday morning, I went and took the crazy to a whole other level. I walked into work and I gave them my notice. After about four years of floundering about in full-time jobs, I realized that if I wanted to truly be a professional actor, I had to either shit or get off the pot. Well, gosh darnit, it's time to shit!

To tell you the truth, no decision has ever felt so right before. It was time.

I'll be at my current job until September 12, and then rehearsals start for Rabbit Hole. My contract is for six weeks until October 25th.

After that point, who knows, but I believe (and it's about damn time I did) that I can be an actor and still manage to take care of myself.

Besides, if ever I'm royally fucked, I'll just move in to my film director's basement and take his DVD collection hostage.
Because I am a professional actor and he created a monster.

Mixed Blessings and the Blues

I'm not sure what to think about work last night at Bluesfest.

On the one hand, I think I found my pick of the festival. That honour goes to the wonderful Jim Bryson. The guy had the total package: great music, fantastic stage presence, and a great sense of humour. And he's local too! The crowd was packed in around him at the Black Sheep Stage and loved every minute. If he's ever playing anywhere else in town, I think I may have to show up and buy a CD.

On the other hand, another local boy completely disproved my theory that

Guitar + Guy + Stage = Sexy

I'm not going to name names (though it would be easy enough to find out who I'm talking about) but this guy epitomized the word "Tool". I found his music to be bland, he acted like a total douche on stage and, as a fellow performer who is trying to get funding from the city to pursue her art, I was incredibly insulted by his blazé and ungrateful bragging about what he would do with the money the City of Ottawa has offered him and his band.

Anyway, it was also a bittersweet night because although I got to talk to some pretty nice people (including some folks who wanted me to join them for a beer - Raincheck?), neither myself nor my colleagues managed to make our quotas.

I don't think it was really our fault. Most of the shows were ALL on at the same time so we couldn't help each other out like we have in the past and a lot of people at this point have now answered our survey already, but we still got a talking to for it.

Only 4 nights left...

I wish I was back at the Fringe.

It's Not You, It's Me

For Monday's random music pick, I draw your attention to the Creaking Tree String Quartet.

As for Tuesday, unfortunately I was inside at the Barney Danson Theatre and so didn't get to hear anything really except what was on the mainstage outside and that didn't impress me much. I was also long gone before the Fergalicious one even showed up.

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Dear Jully:

Listen, I know you tried really hard to get to me last night. You know how much I like to move it, move it, but honestly, I don't think it's working out between us. No, no, you didn't really DO anything wrong. I'm just not feeling you that's all. Maybe it's because you remind me so much of that drama queen, Mary J Blige, who I was able to tolerate until she went and ruined a perfectly good U2 song. Or maybe it was because you beat out a buddy of mine for R&B/Soul Recording of the Year at the Junos (and if Fat Al from God Made Me Funky is reading this, How's it going, dude?)

...

Actually, no, it's because of THAT song... you know the one I'm talking about... I'm glad you got a lot of success out of it, but it just plays SO MUCH! And have you ever listened to what the lyrics actually say? Oh honey, why would you want to spend all your time doing your man's laundry and washing his floors? Maybe that was love in 1961, but you're in a whole new century now. Couldn't you have gone out to a spa or something instead? I'm sure that would have made for an equally great song.

You're a beautiful woman with a lot of talent and you've got a great sense of humour to boot(I saw you try and get my attention on Video on Trial). I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else who will truly be able to appreciate you. I think we just need a little bit of time apart so we can reevaluate our priorities and focus on finding out what we truly want out of life.

Someday soon, we'll laugh about this, Jully, as we sit on a patio, drinking sangria and making fun of Mary J.

I look forward to that day,

Nancy

Halfway There

Though I hate crowds (and have avoided the mainstages at Bluesfest for the very reason), I love people watching. There's something really peaceful about people lounging around in the sun, chilling out to good music. The weather's been perfect lately and it looks like it may last through the whole festival. I've already burnt some parts of my body (the ones where my hands can't fully reach with sunscreen), but as someone who usually looks like an out of place vampire during the summer, I don't actually mind. It will turn into a tan eventually.

I've also had a great opportunity to discover some new music. My new music picks for Friday and Saturday go to Royal Wood and Jen Grant, respectively. Royal reminds me a bit of Ben Folds and he was very funny onstage. Jen Grant was just adorable and talked about how her dog died and she wrote a song about him, but it's a happy song so it's all good. Seriously, adorable!

For Sunday, I want to let people know about The Acorn (who may be local, but I'm not sure), but hands down the best show of day had to be Snoop Dogg.

A sense of morbid curiosity drew me to the Bank of America stage. After all, since I was on site, why not check it out? I avoided the crowds by staying outside the gates and watched from the jumbo screens. I have to admit, the D-O-Double G is quite the showman and knows how to manipulate a crowd. Sens Jersey, bedazzled microphone, giant joint stolen from the crowd... Plus, he actually started in on a rendition of House of Pain's Jump Around. I'm not sure what was more fun: his on-stage personna or watching middle-aged white suburbanites try to drop it like it's hot...

From One Festival To Another OR Please Take My Two Minute Survey

Well, the Fringe Festival is over and I've already jumped head first into another one of Ottawa's summer spectacles: Bluesfest.

I'll be spending the next two weeks on site getting little surveys filled out by people who purchased tickets to the festival.

It's a pretty sweet gig. Not only do I get a free pass to all the concerts, but I get paid for it too. It's also a great way to get into some new music. Last night, I was stationed at the Rogers stage where Matt Mays and El Torpedo were playing. Before they even got to Cocaine Cowgirl, I was hooked.

What is it about a guitar that makes a skinny guy with long greasy hair and five days worth of stubble look like the sexiest man alive? Is it the way he holds it, both delicately and forcefully at the same time? Or did Les Paul have some kind of Austin Power-esque mojo that he bottled up and had sprayed into every single one of his instruments?

The people I get to take the surveys are an interesting bunch. Some people want to talk to you too much, like this guy who wanted to find out how to get his date to go to a hotel with him when asked about accomodations during Bluesfest (oh and his least favorite thing about Bluesfest? The fact that his date didn't have a twin sister...), while others won't talk to you at all. One girl I approached turned her back on me and walked away. Sheesh. You could have just said you weren't interested instead of being rude.

I'm having fun though. I may even get to see Feist tonight!

Post Show Blues

The Ottawa Fringe Festival concluded this past Sunday and, thanks to an oddly placed holiday during the week, it hasn't really hit me until now. It's typical to feel a slight crash after a show, but I think it may be worst after the Fringe Festival.

Though it was hard going to work every day with the festival on, I really didn't mind it because I was pumped about the night ahead. How often can you perform in two shows in one night, see two other shows, and then sit down with a very large group of like-minded individuals, drinking beer and talking about art? On one night, karaoke was even included.

I love the atmosphere that comes along with the Fringe. I always find it very inspiring. I met an 18 year old girl who was appearing in her own one-woman show, her third since the age of 16. I met mothers who manage to juggle their artistic endeavors with familial obligations. I met people who take their shows across Canada (and sometimes the world) and spend the vast majority of the year on the road.

They all make it look so easy and fun (though I know it's more fun than easy).

So now I am back at work and wondering what comes next. I envy the many performers I met who are living the true life of an artist and are free from the shackles of the 9 to 5 lifestyle. Though I'm sure many of them would be more than happy with my paycheck (which will be increasing shortly thanks to a promotion I've just received), I don't think any of them would trade it in to lose out on doing what they love.

I guess in the end it's all about perspective. There are lots of great things in my immediate future. On top of getting a promotion at work, tomorrow I start a job at Bluesfest, another cool festival in town. I'll be doing surveys for a large pocketful of cash and access to all the festival events and headliners. If you see me hanging around a venue, stop by, say hi, and take a minute to fill out my questionnaire.

I'm really looking forward to shooting a film for two weeks in August, my first real paid gig. Also, Evolution Theatre got a lot of great press and sold out many shows during the Fringe. We broke even early on, which means we'll actually get a little bit of coinage for the work we did. Evolution's next show will be in September and I will be taking care of publicity for that one.

After that though, I'm not too sure. I've had a few auditions for stuff in October, but I don't know if any of it will pan out. It may be a perfect time for me to go visit a friend in Japan. Or write some stuff. Or take lessons to brush up on new skills.

Who knows where the wind blows...

The Daily Grind

The holidays are officially over and we now return to our regularly scheduled programming. Unfortunately, I was back at work even before the new year, but even then (especially then?), I've found it very hard to get back into the daily grind.

I've made a lot of resolutions this year. My list is now at 15 or so and they involve a variety of things from physical activity, language skills, travel, writing, producing, music, and the arts in general. Not a single one of those resolutions involves working at a desk from 9 to 5 and yet what am I doing right now? I'm working at my desk from 9 to 5.

It's a necessary evil, I suppose. I have a mortgage and bills to pay. But there has got to be some kind of alternative. There just has to be!

I just wish I knew what it was.

The End is the Beginning

Well, on Sunday, June 24th, the Ottawa Fringe Festival came to a close. It truly was a wonderful adventure. The first show I have ever written/directed/produced went up and was an all-around success. Thank you to everyone who came out to see it. I managed to make a few dollars profit and I am pleased that I will be able to give my cast and crew something (however meager) in return.

I saw at least 13 different shows (way more than I had thought I would have time for) and if you add to that the 2 I saw at the Magnetic North Theatre Festival, I've seen 15 shows in June.

I met a ton of wonderful people including a beautiful clown, a dirty lounge singer, a guy with 18 personalities, and someone who told me about his experiences with the second coming of Christ. If you weren't there, you sorely missed out.

I learned a lot throughout my experience and I will now be taking the time to recoup, tie up some loose ends and rassle up some feedback for the show (if you saw the show don't be surprised if solicit you). I want to keep working on this script to see where it could go.

I haven't yet had a break so I can decompress and put my thoughts together. My rehearsals with Salamander's Shakespeare Young Company started while the Fringe was still going on. The show opens next week. I've also been giving Evolution Theatre a hand with publicity for their upcoming Insomnia (look for a plug soon) and getting ready for a presentation of my scene from acting class for an upcoming fundraiser (another plug coming soon). Add to that my day job at the museum, an overnight shoot doing BG work on an MOW, a trip to the clinic to get a tetanus shot and band aids because my landlord seems to think rusty nails and roofing materials should be left outside our front door (long story), and an online course through Algonquin College... yeah, a break would be nice.

Luckily, I'm going to Toronto this weekend. Going to watch a musical or two, read some books, and just rest. Oh and spend some time with Darcy before he forgets what I look like. On Monday, things pick up all over again.

Commitment

If you say you're going to show up to do something, please keep your word and show up.

The Constant Struggle

I’ve spent the past four days in a wonderful world of make-believe. On Saturday and Sunday, I shot a promotional video for the government. On Monday, I replaced the regular stand-in who had an audition in Montreal on one of the many MOWs that shoot in town. They liked me so much that they figured out a way to keep me around for an extra day. I love being on set. The energy you find there is unlike almost anything else I’ve ever experienced. But all that’s over and done with now and I’m back to my everyday life. I feel like someone who’s been high for a while and has just crashed back into the harshness of reality. Needless to say, I’m kinda bummed.

I’ve realized lately that my life is a very delicate balancing act. I’m not just leading a double life anymore, one where I have my acting world and everything else; I’m actually leading a triple life. You see, the “everything else” is now actually divided into two parts: my day job and my family life; and I’m finding it harder and harder to balance it all.

The realization came somewhere around the same time my mother probably realized that this acting thing may not be just a hobby or something I’m going to grow out of eventually.

To me, it’s simple. The dream is to become a working actor and that dream consumes my entire life. Everything and everyone else therefore gets pushed aside in order to accomplish that dream.

Well, that’s how it is on paper anyway. The practicalities of it all are what I’m now having trouble dealing with. I sense I may be pushing my luck with how much time off I can take from work. I hurt people’s feelings because acting obligations force me to back out on previous commitments. I feel like no one wants me to succeed in this endeavour; that everyone would be much happier if I could just settle down, go to “work” on a regular basis, and find some comfortable, quiet routine where my biggest worry would be what to make for dinner that night.

But that won’t make me happy…

What Would You Do?

*Author's note: the date on this post should be for today, Friday, February 23, 2007, but somehow it keeps saying Thursday. Just an FYI.*

If you had a dream, what would you do to achieve it?

I discovered yesterday the answer to that question: anything.

Oh, and I am also certifiably crazy.

Through some combination of Murphy's Law, destiny, and Alanis Morissette's version of irony, I found myself in a situation.

My agent called me Today, I was to have an audition for a stand-in gig on an upcoming MOW. For those of you regulars to this site, you may remember me mentioning getting jipped out of such work back in September. Well, after that incident, I was promised by members of the production that they would make it up to me. Now, nothing wasn't written in stone (or written at all for that matter), and I wasn't expecting them to even recall it. However, my chances were pretty decent that I would get the part.

Although, if I got the part, that would mean taking three weeks off work... starting Monday... on a job where my total attendance had been less than a week so far...

So after much soul searching, a little crying, and lots of talking things over with my amazing boyfriend (who managed to cheer me up by thinking Billy Bishop Goes to War is an appropriate bedtime story), I decided that I was going in to work today prepared to quit... quit a job that I kinda like, with a steady paycheck and benefits... for a job that I had no certainty of getting...

I didn't get much sleep last night.

****************************************
Well, shockingly enough, they wouldn't let me quit. My boss and her boss actually looked into the possibility of letting me take three weeks off without pay and resume my duties when I got back.

Wow! Of course, it would have to be approved by the head of HR, but still, I was stunned that they wanted to keep me around so much.

****************************************
I went to the production office and fell in love. It was like walking into Summer camp. Everyone was fresh faced and radiant from their time off, ready to work. The atmosphere was electric. They all remembered me. Hugs and kisses abounded. My spirits were high even though, after one look at the top of the pile for the people auditioning, I knew I wasn't going to get the part, no matter how much they may like me. The girl in the photo just looked too much like the lead actress.

My agent called me shortly after.

It was as I suspected. I didn't get the job. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Disappointment is a big part of this job. Funny how you never really get used to it though.

I called my boss with the "good news". I would be in on Monday. She told me she had good news of her own. HR had approved the request. Not that it mattered now, but I was incredibly touched nonetheless.

There is still a slight chance that they end up using me, but I'm not going to keep my hopes up (they got too crushed last time around). I've got other things to worry about now anyway: A short film tomorrow, a trip to Kingston to see T's play, Shakespeare class, learning my lines for both Fat Pig and Measure for Measure, prepping for a Third Wall audition, voice class next weekend, a resume/headshot to the GCTC... yeah, I will stay busy.

But at least now I know what lengths I'd be willing to go to realize my dreams. I know that I will not give up. I just can't. I will take what comfort I can in that.

I'm two parts dedication and one part desperation. That's bound to get me somewhere right?

I Knew This Was Going To Happen

As soon as I sign a contract for a full-time permanent position, I start getting all sorts of acting audition opportunities and job offers.

Yesterday, my agent emailed me twice. The first time was for an audition in Toronto with YTV and the second time for a play in Cornwall. Now, I can still do the YTV one since they are asking for a tape. The Cornwall one is another story though. It’s for a paid, non-union, five week contract in April and May.

Imagine the situation: I’m at work less than a week and I already need to ask to take five weeks off. Somehow, I don’t think it would fly. Where the heck were these Cornwall people during the last 10 months when I was unemployed? Plus, I’ve already been cast in a play that Claudia is doing with some of my classmates. I’m really looking forward to being able to keep honing what I’ve been learning in an actual play environment.

I also have an audition with Third Wall coming up soon and I will be sending in my stuff for the GCTC general auditions in May.

Things are also looking really good with the promo video I auditioned for (the one I thought was a commercial). I’m keeping my fingers crossed on that one, although I’m also wondering how to take time off work if I get it. Cross that bridge when I get there I guess.

The job is pretty cool though. I’m keeping very busy with it which is a welcome change from my time at the NAC. I’m feeling very productive here. I hate the commute every day, but I’m considering getting a bicycle for spring. I’m fairly sure it would cut my commute time almost in half and get me some great exercise to boot.

There are also a lot of perks to the job. First of all, I get 10 free guest passes to both the Museum of Civilization and the War Museum each month. So if anyone would like to go, let me know. I don’t even have to go with you. I just put your name down at the info desk. On Tuesday and Wednesday, I spent a good three hours each day touring both museums. Today, I get to check out an IMAX movie. How many people get to say they can watch movies during their work hours? I also get two free movie passes for each new movie that comes out, but since I work with the IMAX department, I don’t need them and will gladly spread the wealth. One of my colleagues also used to work for Alliance Atlantis and she gets tons of preview movie passes. Tonight, I’m going to check out The Number 23 with Jim Carrey at Silvercity.

I like it when I don’t have to pay for stuff.

Smile Like You Mean It

Yesterday was my first day at a new job with the Museum of Civilization. Everything flew by in a blur. The day was jam packed with introductions, tours, and other administrative stuff that I was shocked to see five o’clock roll around. Things look fairly interesting though and the people here are pretty cool. If I can survive the two hour commute each day, I should do just fine.

A good chunk of my day was spent with HR where I was signed up for the company pension, collective agreement, and health benefits. Now since Darcy and I had been living together for over a year, I was already covered under his government plan. That includes dental and so I had made an appointment a while back to look into the possibility of getting my teeth fixed. Through his plan, 50% of orthodontics would be covered. After 3 months of working at the museum, I will get my own dental plan that covers 50% of orthodontics. That means that come May, I might be able to get orthodontic treatment entirely paid for by the wonderful people at the Great West Life.

Now some of you may be wondering what the hell I’m talking about. You may see me on a regular basis and never have noticed anything wrong with my teeth. I have a slight overlap in my upper front teeth stemming from when I was a child. The baby tooth had taken too long to fall out and my adult tooth had started growing behind it. It’s nothing huge, but it has always bugged me.

At my appointment last November, I was told it would take about 6 to 9 months with one row of braces up top to fix the problem. Now that I know I can afford it financially, the only thing left to wonder is how much can my career afford to have braces on my teeth for 6 to 9 months?

On the Horizon

Why is it that whenever you get a new job, that's when people start calling you to work for them? I'm talking regular or performance base work, it's all the same. Is it because that stench of desperation I was exuding was pushing them all away? They could smell that through email?

Anyway, now that I have accepted the job at the museum, I have received no less than three interview offers in the past two weeks. Where the heck were all these people in November/December/January?

I've also realized that I can't go anywhere, because as soon as I make plans, that's when additional work offers start pouring in.

Tomorrow, I have an audition for an upcoming MOW. It's kind of funny, but I'm auditioning for a 17 year old. I'm trying not to think to much about it. After all, it is for American TV and on those shows they have 30 year olds still playing teens. And I have these wonderful zits at the moment for added authenticity. Then I have rehearsal for a short film I will be shooting next weekend and I'm hoping to quickly follow that up with one play audition and Betrayal.

On Friday, I have my audition for the NAC in the morning and then I'm driving out to Smith Falls for a job interview (no the job isn't in Smith Falls - I don't get it either, but we do have a rental car for the weekend so I might as well use it). Then I come back to town to pick up Darcy and the dog, wave to Smith Falls again as we drive by on the way to his parent's place and stay there for a relaxing weekend with my laptop, right?

Wrong

I was asked to be a reader for a commercial on Saturday. Now, obviously, I won't be able to do it, but I still may have to come back downtown for an audition with said commercial.

Then I have Shakespeare on Sunday afternoon and I will quite possibly be helping out a friend on his short film after.

Work starts on Monday.

I was taking a break right?

Everything's Coming Up Milhouse

Well, it is now official, I have received and accepted a job offer from the Museum of Civilization as their new Information and Promotions Assistant. This is a full-time permanent position (no contract!), which means that I will be getting health benefits, 3 weeks paid vacation, a pension, and any other perk that comes with a government-y type job. Not only that, it seems that your salary goes up by about 5% every year. That percentage is split in to two: you get 2.5% every year on the "anniversary" of your start date, and the other 2.5% in April. This means that in less than two months, I will already be getting a raise.

I haven't told them I'm an actor yet, though. I'm hoping to cross that bridge when I come to it. I've managed quite a few jobs where I've had to juggle my dual-life, so I doubt it would start being a problem now.

Oh, and for those of you that are disappointed because I won't be getting free NAC tickets anymore... well, I'm trading those in for free IMAX tickets. Stay tuned!

"PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean?

I'm feeling angry right now. I keep having visions of that scene from Office Space where they take the photocopier out into a field and destroy it with baseball bats. Except instead of the photocopier, it's my entire cubicle, all 3x2 feet of it. With the computer, the lamp (because the NAC Theatre where we are located has "mood" lighting that is not conducive to a work environment), and the phone, there is barely any room for the keyboard and its edges dangle precariously off the desk each time I type. I think my coworkers are chained to their desks. Seriously. They never take any breaks or go anywhere for lunch. I refuse to believe that any desk job is that engrossing that you would want to spend 8 strait hours sitting there, destroying your back and your vision. My shoulders are killing me from this poor excuse of a chair, my wrists ache, and my eyes go blurry after a while.

I feel like my soul, my artist is being crushed and I'm not even being financially compensated for it.

I'm frustrated by my monetary difficulties. I'm a fiercely independent person who has never deprived herself of anything. Now I feel trapped, caged in a cell made out of fake walls and artificial lighting. I can't do everything I want anymore because I don't have the money for it. I have to choose which meal will be worthwhile. If I have a great lunch, then supper will consist of hot dogs, cheap thai noodles in a cardboard container, plain pasta or a combination therein (and vice-versa if I plan on having a nice supper). I don't have the time or the money to go grocery shopping for something substantial and/or healthy. My clothes for work consist of three outfits I got over Christmas that I keep rotating because everything else I have either doesn't fit or was last in style when Chrétien was in power (and of course we must keep things in style - I'm much too proud to let appearances fall). My winter jacket, if you can even call it that, is falling apart on me now that the cold has come in. I'm really hoping it will make it through February. If I happen to make a wee bit of money to help me out throughout one week or another, the government takes it away.

Darcy has been so unbelivably supportive lately that I have started to think that there might be some sort of body snatching going on... I'm very lucky to have him but I feel, for lack of a better example, like my balls have been cut off (to be clear I did not have any balls to begin with, it's just a metaphor, ERIK). I feel like I lose a bit more of my independance every day that goes by where I can't support myself. I feel like on some level, I'm using him and I hate that. It makes me feel like I'm one of those vapid girls who flaunts their "sugar daddies". I'm frustrated because I feel powerless.

I know I am better off than a lot of people out there, but it's not where I want to be.

Some of you might say I should just get job. I've been trying. I have applied for over 30 different positions since December and I have only gotten one interview out of the lot. My resume is great, my qualifications are incredible, and yet no one wants to give me a shot. And what's worse is that any of those jobs would probably be just as mind-numbing... but at least I'd get paid. It's depressing.

I want to scream and break things but polite society does not afford me that luxury.

I want to be at rehearsal right now. I feel at peace once things get going there. Any fatigue or numbness evaporates with every line. I want to be at home writing my script or painting a picture. I want to be dancing. I want to be watching a play or a movie. I want to be anywhere but here.

sigh

Please don't worry about me (Mom, put the phone down. I'm probably not at home anyway :p), I will be fine. Things will get better. They always do. I'm just venting.

I feel better.

The Test - Part Deux

Well, I guess I am going to get the chance after all. I got a call a few days ago from the Museum of Civilization again. They want me to come back in on Friday for a real interview. I'm glad that they called but for some reason, something about this whole thing just isn't quite sitting right with me.

I mean, I know I can do the job. It's promotions. I've got years of practical experience in that field. I've also recently discovered that I have strong aptitudes in PR. I wrote the Press Release for Possible Worlds and it's quite good, even if I do say so myself (Actually, it's not just me. I showed it to someone who works in the field and they told me it was good) It would also mean a steady paycheck which would be great since my loans and bills are killing me right now.

I guess what's been bugging me lately, working for a national theatre festival (You like bowling? Join our fundraiser!) and doing publicity for my show, is that I want someone else to be doing that for me.

I want to be the person that is receiving an email requesting a personal bio, asking about hotel arrangement preferences, and wondering if I could make myself available after the media launch for a few interviews... not the one sending it. I want someone running all over town speaking to high schools and getting them to come and see a show on my behalf. I want to be the actor...

Ok, so it's not really me who wants all that. It's my lazy ego. Although getting taken cared of like that would be nice, all I really want is to work as an artist all day long, not as an administrator. And if I get this job, it just means more time away from reading and painting and learning and performing... But unfortunately, while those things are so incredibly good for my soul, they do not happen to put a roof over my head.

I guess then that I will continue working as an administrator for a little while and continue filling up every other hour with as much art as I can (Oleanna tonight, anyone? - Can't afford it, but I'm still going). And one day, when I get that email requesting a personal bio, asking what kind of hotel arrangements would work best for me, and wondering if I would have the time to grant an interview later, I will go find that person who sent it and, from the bottom of my heart, I will say thank you.

Working 9 to 5 for my Guilty Pleasure

Working a desk job over the past couple of months, I've come to one inevitable conclusion: human beings are not meant to be sitting in front of a computer 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. My favorite part of the day is, of course, 5pm when I am released from the shackles of the daily grind and set loose upon the world.

A few things happen at that point. For one, I leave the NAC from one of the rooftop terraces which offers me an incredibly breathtaking view of the city. The canal ebbs out beneath me, various architectural styles meld together in a captivating hodge-podge of brick and stone (the Chateau Laurier, Parliament, the War Monument, Sparks St., ect.), and the multi-coloured lights left over from Christmas brighten the gloomy winter(?) darkness. And maybe it's because I leave the recycled air and claustrophobic cubicle I hold at the NAC, but the air smells sweeter at this point of the day.

But that's not what really makes me happy. No, ladies and gentlemen, that is not what makes me truly happy.

My cellphone also has radio capabilities. And when I leave I tune in to what I consider to be one of my greatest guilty pleasures. Something that I try to hide from Darcy, but have finally given up on successfully accomplishing. Something considered so "uncool" by the fringe levels of society that I cringe at the thought of typing it out. Something many would consider akin to selling your soul to the devil.

At 5pm, every weekday, I tune in to the Hot 89.9's commercial free one-hour traffic jam and listen to mainstream pop and dance music. Yes, I am loath to admit it, but I simply adore the majority of pop music. I know, I know, I probably told you once that I thought it was crap. I lied (unless the song had something to do with smakin' yo' bitches, pimpin yo' ride, throwin' yo' monah, yo' grill, and/or Paris Hilton, in which case it really was crap). I felt the need to come clean on this because, trust me, after sitting on your behind for a solid eight hours, there is nothing like some upbeat dance tune to shake your booty into a state of wakefulness.

I know, I know, you are all probably very disappointed in me. Don't worry, I am disappointed in myself and how easily I can be seduced by a catchy rhythm. Unfortunately, my hips cannot lie any longer, I am a promiscuous girl, who cannot wait for Sunday morning on an irreplaceable London bridge.

(Sometimes they'll even throw in some old school remixes of Michael Jackson and Run DMC, it's awesome!)

I still love a well written and/or emotionally charged lyric, but sometimes those dancing devils just get the best of me. Well, the first step is admitting it, I guess. I think I'm going to start a support group for all those closeted popaholics out there. At the very least, we could get together and go dancing some night. I feel like I haven't done that in years.

The Test

I had a job interview with the Museum of Civilization today. Actually, it wasn't even an interview. It was a written exam.

I showed up this morning with about six other people to write a preliminary test to see if we might then qualify for an interview.

The job is definately something I can do (Promotions), but having been out of school for some time, I was a little worried about having to write a test. I kept telling myself not to worry because they didn't give me anything to study. That means that I would either know the answers or I wouldn't. Simple as that.

And the test was simple.

Three questions, all necessary materials provided for you, answers to be saved to floppy disk (those still exist?)

After signing in, we were taken to a big room filled with computers. I picked one in a corner at the back so no one could see my answers.

(The following is an approximation of the questions writen in my own words.)
Question 1 - Your boss sends you a draft of a letter. Format the letter and the personalize the letter using a Mail Merge (see the Word doc and the Access doc for your materials).

Ok, thank God I just learned how to do a Mail Merge through Microsoft Word this week.

Question 2 - Bob Smith from XYZ travel agency wants 10 complimentary tickets to the museum. Your supervisor approved the request. Write Bob a letter that you would include with the tickets. (Save as Task 2)

Easy

Question 3 - Open the Excel sheet. It contains the names and vital statistic for the museum contest participants. Make a table that tells us how many ppl come from X, what percentage is from Y, and how many are from out of town.

Alright, that one's not too hard. I learned how to make charts when I was at the University. I just need to enter the right formula and...

OH SWEET BABY JESUS!

The computer I'm working on just crashed.

...

I had saved Question 1 and 2, but the work I had started on 3 is gone. The woman facilitating the test looks perplexed.

"Well that's never happened before."

Thank you, that is so very comforting.

"I can give you an extra five minutes to complete the test."

Five minutes?!?! It's taking a good ten to fifteen to get me set up on a new computer.

So much for impressing them with my fancy little coloured charts. I end up doing the calculations by hand and barely have enough time to spruce up the table with borders before she tells me my time is up. I don't even get a chance to review my work to make sure everything is correct.

On the bus ride back to the NAC, I realized that I forgot a step in the Mail Merge.

Shit!

sigh

I'm not sure I like this way of doing things. I mean, i made some mistakes, but it's pretty basic stuff that I could quickly pick up if given the chance.

But will I get that chance?

Learning to Read at the NAC

P-U-S-H (ou P-O-U-S-S-E-Z si vous le préférez) means that when you are approaching a door, press upon or against (said door) with force in order to move it away.

However, even though I clearly know this information, in the epic battle of Nancy vs Door, the score currently stands at:

Door - 347
Nancy - 2

The Door is mocking me.