What Would You Do?

*Author's note: the date on this post should be for today, Friday, February 23, 2007, but somehow it keeps saying Thursday. Just an FYI.*

If you had a dream, what would you do to achieve it?

I discovered yesterday the answer to that question: anything.

Oh, and I am also certifiably crazy.

Through some combination of Murphy's Law, destiny, and Alanis Morissette's version of irony, I found myself in a situation.

My agent called me Today, I was to have an audition for a stand-in gig on an upcoming MOW. For those of you regulars to this site, you may remember me mentioning getting jipped out of such work back in September. Well, after that incident, I was promised by members of the production that they would make it up to me. Now, nothing wasn't written in stone (or written at all for that matter), and I wasn't expecting them to even recall it. However, my chances were pretty decent that I would get the part.

Although, if I got the part, that would mean taking three weeks off work... starting Monday... on a job where my total attendance had been less than a week so far...

So after much soul searching, a little crying, and lots of talking things over with my amazing boyfriend (who managed to cheer me up by thinking Billy Bishop Goes to War is an appropriate bedtime story), I decided that I was going in to work today prepared to quit... quit a job that I kinda like, with a steady paycheck and benefits... for a job that I had no certainty of getting...

I didn't get much sleep last night.

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Well, shockingly enough, they wouldn't let me quit. My boss and her boss actually looked into the possibility of letting me take three weeks off without pay and resume my duties when I got back.

Wow! Of course, it would have to be approved by the head of HR, but still, I was stunned that they wanted to keep me around so much.

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I went to the production office and fell in love. It was like walking into Summer camp. Everyone was fresh faced and radiant from their time off, ready to work. The atmosphere was electric. They all remembered me. Hugs and kisses abounded. My spirits were high even though, after one look at the top of the pile for the people auditioning, I knew I wasn't going to get the part, no matter how much they may like me. The girl in the photo just looked too much like the lead actress.

My agent called me shortly after.

It was as I suspected. I didn't get the job. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed. Disappointment is a big part of this job. Funny how you never really get used to it though.

I called my boss with the "good news". I would be in on Monday. She told me she had good news of her own. HR had approved the request. Not that it mattered now, but I was incredibly touched nonetheless.

There is still a slight chance that they end up using me, but I'm not going to keep my hopes up (they got too crushed last time around). I've got other things to worry about now anyway: A short film tomorrow, a trip to Kingston to see T's play, Shakespeare class, learning my lines for both Fat Pig and Measure for Measure, prepping for a Third Wall audition, voice class next weekend, a resume/headshot to the GCTC... yeah, I will stay busy.

But at least now I know what lengths I'd be willing to go to realize my dreams. I know that I will not give up. I just can't. I will take what comfort I can in that.

I'm two parts dedication and one part desperation. That's bound to get me somewhere right?