Acting is Dying

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd grows so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
- Lose Yourself, Eminem

You'd think it gets easier after a while. After all, this isn't your first time on stage. You know your lines like the back of your hand. You're in costume, your hair and make-up is done right. Everyone is wishing you to "Break a leg" and "Have a great show". Everyone wants you to succeed.

But still, it happens. You start sweating so profusely, you wish you had a hair dryer to fend off the massive stains forming on your costume shirt. Your mouth is pasty, your throat is drying up, and your nose starts running like it was training for an Olympic dash. Your hands are shaking and you try and remember when was the last time you let out a breath. You may feel nautious, gassy, bloated, in need of an Immodium, or any combination thereof (according to a few commercials, Pepto Bismal will take care of all those at once). Someone yells, "Places!" and you desperately want to go pee, even though you've been to the bathroom three times already. You think you hear someone you know out in the audience, maybe you even get a chance to sneak a peak, and you wonder why did they have to pick tonight of all nights, when your body is about to collapse in on itself, to come and see the show. You begin to think that having an understudy may not be such a bad thing after all.

The lights dim, the music swells, you think you're about to die... and suddenly you find comfort in the fact that if you had to choose one way in which to leave this world, dying gloriously on stage would be the way to do it.

You walk out and suddenly you don't feel so sick anymore...

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If I ever stop feeling this agonising torture before performing, no matter what the show or the venue, I know it will be time to move on to another career.