On the Other Side of the Room
Today I spent the vast majority of my day pushing the record button on a VCR. I know, it doesn't sound all that exciting but trust me, it was. You see, that VCR was connected to a video camera and in front of that camera paraded a hodge-podge of talented Ottawa actors.
It was a very enlightening experience. It made me realize that I know alot more than I think I do when it comes to things like acting and directing. Watching people in front of me, you could see what worked, who was enjoying themselves, and who would probably get cast in a part. Sometimes someone gave a wonderful audition and the director would just rave about them, only to be disappointed that they would be *too tall, too big, too young, too old, too ect* for the part.
At times I could smell the nervousness and desperation in the room and it made me realize that when I audition, the people in the room probably smelled that off me too. And for what? Nerves and desperation really don't help anyone, least of all myself.
Watching those nervous, fragile, beautiful people doing their best to impress a room full of strangers, I understood a very important thing: They're just like me. I would see some of them fumble and make mistakes and pick themselves up and start over again and live in the moment and be present and go crazy and have fun and I KNEW that I could do that too.
Is this what I was torturing myself with? The false belief that everyone else is so much better/together/talented than I am?
They're not, they're just.like.me.
And yet, they're not.
They're very different and unique, but not better. When your job consists of bringing yourself to a role, how could anyone be better than you? It's impossible because there is only one you. So you might as well learn to love it. And start now. Now would be a very good time to start. Did any of that make sense?
And the faces! Sitting about 12 inches away from a television screen, I got the wonderful opportunity to just look at faces. I never realized how much beauty there is in a human faces; how different that nose is from the last one, but how it fits perfectly for the face it's on. These were not all models in front of me. They were everyday, ordinary people just like me, and they were beautiful!
I'm beautiful!
I can do this!
Now, if I could only score an audition of my own, I would be sooooooo pumped for it
It was a very enlightening experience. It made me realize that I know alot more than I think I do when it comes to things like acting and directing. Watching people in front of me, you could see what worked, who was enjoying themselves, and who would probably get cast in a part. Sometimes someone gave a wonderful audition and the director would just rave about them, only to be disappointed that they would be *too tall, too big, too young, too old, too ect* for the part.
At times I could smell the nervousness and desperation in the room and it made me realize that when I audition, the people in the room probably smelled that off me too. And for what? Nerves and desperation really don't help anyone, least of all myself.
Watching those nervous, fragile, beautiful people doing their best to impress a room full of strangers, I understood a very important thing: They're just like me. I would see some of them fumble and make mistakes and pick themselves up and start over again and live in the moment and be present and go crazy and have fun and I KNEW that I could do that too.
Is this what I was torturing myself with? The false belief that everyone else is so much better/together/talented than I am?
They're not, they're just.like.me.
And yet, they're not.
They're very different and unique, but not better. When your job consists of bringing yourself to a role, how could anyone be better than you? It's impossible because there is only one you. So you might as well learn to love it. And start now. Now would be a very good time to start. Did any of that make sense?
And the faces! Sitting about 12 inches away from a television screen, I got the wonderful opportunity to just look at faces. I never realized how much beauty there is in a human faces; how different that nose is from the last one, but how it fits perfectly for the face it's on. These were not all models in front of me. They were everyday, ordinary people just like me, and they were beautiful!
I'm beautiful!
I can do this!
Now, if I could only score an audition of my own, I would be sooooooo pumped for it
posted by Nancy Kenny at
9:19 PM
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