A Glimpse Into the Life of a Celebrity
*WARNING* The following events are based on a true story, but they might have been massively exagerated to make me feel better.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 4:30pm
Having fired the maid earlier during the week for stealing silverware, I find myself stuck doing my own laundry for the busy weekend ahead. That's fine, I was once a regular person, so I know how to do certain things for myself. I simply choose not to.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 5:55pm
While taking my stuff out of the dryer, I realize that all my whites are now about a size too small and a shade of baby blue... Whatever. Tight clothes and pastels are in for spring.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 9:00pm
After having gotten ready, I'm off to the movies to see Sideways with my boyfriend, the politician. I missed the premiere since I was in a show at the time and I thought it would be good to catch up on it before the Oscars this Sunday. No one recognizes me at the theatre though due to my clever disguise of a hat and glasses and no one recognizes him because nobody cares about politicians.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 9:30am
I show up at my gym to workout before I get started on my busy day. I like this gym since everyone treats me like I'm a regular person. It's a very refreshing break from all those times I get bothered for autographs.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 2:30pm
I show up for my weekly hair appointment at the salon. Sergio was out sick today, so unfortunately I got stuck with his replacement who only did an adequate job instead of a fabulous one. Due to my highly generous nature, I didn't put up too much of a fuss.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 3:30pm
I go pick up my outfit for the fabulous Oscar party I am attending tomorrow night, and take the opportunity to do quite a bit of shopping. I buy only the most expensive and luxurious garments of course. Never once did I go into the "Clearance" section. Never.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 4:15pm
I get my makeup done by the good people at MAC. They offered to close the store for me, but I declined. No need to get the little people annoyed, I said. Luckily, no tabloid reporters had spoted me without my makeup on until now.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 6:00pm
After a fancy sushi dinner, I show up for a photoshoot that my agent booked. Ah, my life is sooooo hard!
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 10:30pm
I'm ready to go out to one of the trendy little clubs in town with a very large entourage. It was huge. We took up all available room in the club. Honestly.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 1:00pm
I got to sleep in today. It's my treat to myself. It's always good to remember to treat yourself. Anyway, I show up at the salon again, where my colorist, Katrina, gives me a brand new look for the party tonight. She's fabulous. We talked about the other famous people who come to see her. I'm definately her favorite.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 6:30pm
I'm ready to go to the party, but my boyfriend, the politician, convinces me to wait an hour so that we may be fashionably late and make an entrance. We definately did NOT get lost on the way or anything like that. To make sure we arrived in style, he ordered a very large vehicle for the occasion. It was so big it reminded me of a bus. Again, my very large entourage was along for the ride. They didn't come to the party though, it was too exclusive.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 8:00pm
We show up to the party just in time to see people arriving on the red carpet. Having not been nominated this year was hard to take, but you know, there's always next year. Anyway, this exclusive party, on the same level as Elton John's and Vanity Fair's, was fantastic and our hosts were very gracious. However, since my boyfriend, the politician was feeling a bit ill, we had to go before the last Oscars were announced. Fortunately, thanks either to the speed of our vehicle, which was probably going somewhere around MACH 2, or the fact that the commercial breaks were so long, we made back to my house in time to catch the last awards on my big screen TV.
Well, that's it. A glimpse into the life of a celebrity. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go endorse a sports beverage.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 4:30pm
Having fired the maid earlier during the week for stealing silverware, I find myself stuck doing my own laundry for the busy weekend ahead. That's fine, I was once a regular person, so I know how to do certain things for myself. I simply choose not to.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 5:55pm
While taking my stuff out of the dryer, I realize that all my whites are now about a size too small and a shade of baby blue... Whatever. Tight clothes and pastels are in for spring.
Friday, Feb. 25th - 9:00pm
After having gotten ready, I'm off to the movies to see Sideways with my boyfriend, the politician. I missed the premiere since I was in a show at the time and I thought it would be good to catch up on it before the Oscars this Sunday. No one recognizes me at the theatre though due to my clever disguise of a hat and glasses and no one recognizes him because nobody cares about politicians.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 9:30am
I show up at my gym to workout before I get started on my busy day. I like this gym since everyone treats me like I'm a regular person. It's a very refreshing break from all those times I get bothered for autographs.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 2:30pm
I show up for my weekly hair appointment at the salon. Sergio was out sick today, so unfortunately I got stuck with his replacement who only did an adequate job instead of a fabulous one. Due to my highly generous nature, I didn't put up too much of a fuss.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 3:30pm
I go pick up my outfit for the fabulous Oscar party I am attending tomorrow night, and take the opportunity to do quite a bit of shopping. I buy only the most expensive and luxurious garments of course. Never once did I go into the "Clearance" section. Never.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 4:15pm
I get my makeup done by the good people at MAC. They offered to close the store for me, but I declined. No need to get the little people annoyed, I said. Luckily, no tabloid reporters had spoted me without my makeup on until now.
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 6:00pm
After a fancy sushi dinner, I show up for a photoshoot that my agent booked. Ah, my life is sooooo hard!
Saturday, Feb. 26th - 10:30pm
I'm ready to go out to one of the trendy little clubs in town with a very large entourage. It was huge. We took up all available room in the club. Honestly.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 1:00pm
I got to sleep in today. It's my treat to myself. It's always good to remember to treat yourself. Anyway, I show up at the salon again, where my colorist, Katrina, gives me a brand new look for the party tonight. She's fabulous. We talked about the other famous people who come to see her. I'm definately her favorite.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 6:30pm
I'm ready to go to the party, but my boyfriend, the politician, convinces me to wait an hour so that we may be fashionably late and make an entrance. We definately did NOT get lost on the way or anything like that. To make sure we arrived in style, he ordered a very large vehicle for the occasion. It was so big it reminded me of a bus. Again, my very large entourage was along for the ride. They didn't come to the party though, it was too exclusive.
Sunday, Feb. 27th - 8:00pm
We show up to the party just in time to see people arriving on the red carpet. Having not been nominated this year was hard to take, but you know, there's always next year. Anyway, this exclusive party, on the same level as Elton John's and Vanity Fair's, was fantastic and our hosts were very gracious. However, since my boyfriend, the politician was feeling a bit ill, we had to go before the last Oscars were announced. Fortunately, thanks either to the speed of our vehicle, which was probably going somewhere around MACH 2, or the fact that the commercial breaks were so long, we made back to my house in time to catch the last awards on my big screen TV.
Well, that's it. A glimpse into the life of a celebrity. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go endorse a sports beverage.
posted by Nancy Kenny at
11:29 AM
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