Pet Peeves or Things That Piss Me Off
Ok, quite often I catch myself complaining about something and adding the infamous words, "that's my biggest pet peeve." Well, I've come to notice that I seem to have quite a few "biggest" pet peeves, so why not explore them here, shall we?
1. Lemmings - remember the lemmings computer game where the little critters would just keep following one another? And you had to put objects in there way or they would just jump off a cliff (in this case, if all their friends jumped off a bridge they would jump off too). Well Lemmings exist in real life too. Like when there are 10 different doors to go through at the mall, but everyone lines up to go through that one door. Pisses me off.
2. Country Walkers - you know, I have places to be and people to see. My day is usually pretty charged and so I walk pretty fast to get anywhere on time. That's why I hate it whenever I'm at the mall or on a sidewalk and I get stuck behind some slow walkers. Pick up the pace people! Move it or lose it! And it would not be so bad if I could just walk around them, but somehow, these Country Walkers always seem to be able to take up all available walking room around them. Or whenever you pick a side to pass them on, they suddenly slowly start to shift toward that direction, as if they know and just want to piss you off. Pisses me off
3. Seat Hoggers - you're on the bus and it's packed, everyone squeezed together like sardines. Inevitably, there's that one person on that bus who seems to think that their bag also needs a seat. Ok, dude, you have a lap. Please use it! Also, those people who sit on the alley seat on the bus instead of the window to discourage people from sitting with them. And them when someone decides to take the available seat, instead of scooching over, they simply stand up so that the other person has to squeeze in. Just move over you perv. Pisses me off.
4. Ants in the Pants - on the topic of buses, this goes to those people who have to push through the crowded bus to get to the doors when there's still 10 minutes before we reach their spot. Ok, listen, you're getting off at a very popular spot. Chances are, 90% of the people in front of you are also getting off there. It's one thing if the bus is empty for you to get up, but when you have to push everyone around, you're just being a jerk. Trust me, the bus will not leave with you still on it because the bus driver probably hates you as much as I do and wouldn't want to have to deal with you any longer than he or she has to. Pisses me off.
5. Forgetful Fred - Remember that funny thing you heard in that movie? Actually, no you don't. I hate it when people try and quote things and quote it wrong. It just really grates on my nerves. The mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Especially when it's a quote everyone should know, like something from the Simpsons. Pisses me off.
6. The Deaf, Dumb and Blind - now I'm not talking about people who are really deaf, dumb and blind because that's sad. I'm talking about people who simply CHOOSE not to get informed and then ask stupid questions. It's like in Clerks when he gets all those questions with really obvious answers. For instance, here are some of the typical questions I get on a regular basis at work:
"Where's the (phone, bathroom, vending machines, computer lab)?" - You see that sign that says (phone, bathroom, vending machines, computer lab) that way? Yeah. Dumbass.
"Is this the computer lab?" - You see that huge sign in the window that says "Intramurals - Gee Gee Summer Camps"? Yeah. Dumbass.
"Where are the stairs/elevator?" - Um, turn your head ever so slightly to the left. You know, to the spot YOU JUST CAME FROM! Yeah. Dumbass. Pisses me off.
7. Barnyard Animals - I have issues with public washrooms. Why? Because decent, clean-living individuals have to share public washrooms with those raised in a barn, or perhaps even by wolves. Now, I understand that the toilet seat in a public washroom might not be the cleanest area so you might want to hover. However, if you do decide to hover, for pete's sake, DO NOT PEE ON THE SEAT! And if you do, please, please, please CLEAN IT UP! It's a lot easier for you to clean up after your own pee than it is for someone else to do it for you. I mean, who knows better where you've been than you? Also, seriously, flush the toilet. It's not hard. Just pull the little lever. Not all washrooms have the fancy high-tech flush-o-matics, so just pull it ok? And if you think the handle might be gross, here's a little tip: WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS! They even have soap you can use. Oh and one last thing. When the door to the stall is closed, QUIT YANKING ON IT! It's annoying! Just give a quick glance at the feet. It will be easier for you, since you probably never learned how to make that opposable thumb work anyway. Pisses me off.
Alright! I feel better now.
Feel free to vent any pet peeves, as long as they do not include people who vent their pet peeves on a public forum because that definitely pisses me off.
:p
1. Lemmings - remember the lemmings computer game where the little critters would just keep following one another? And you had to put objects in there way or they would just jump off a cliff (in this case, if all their friends jumped off a bridge they would jump off too). Well Lemmings exist in real life too. Like when there are 10 different doors to go through at the mall, but everyone lines up to go through that one door. Pisses me off.
2. Country Walkers - you know, I have places to be and people to see. My day is usually pretty charged and so I walk pretty fast to get anywhere on time. That's why I hate it whenever I'm at the mall or on a sidewalk and I get stuck behind some slow walkers. Pick up the pace people! Move it or lose it! And it would not be so bad if I could just walk around them, but somehow, these Country Walkers always seem to be able to take up all available walking room around them. Or whenever you pick a side to pass them on, they suddenly slowly start to shift toward that direction, as if they know and just want to piss you off. Pisses me off
3. Seat Hoggers - you're on the bus and it's packed, everyone squeezed together like sardines. Inevitably, there's that one person on that bus who seems to think that their bag also needs a seat. Ok, dude, you have a lap. Please use it! Also, those people who sit on the alley seat on the bus instead of the window to discourage people from sitting with them. And them when someone decides to take the available seat, instead of scooching over, they simply stand up so that the other person has to squeeze in. Just move over you perv. Pisses me off.
4. Ants in the Pants - on the topic of buses, this goes to those people who have to push through the crowded bus to get to the doors when there's still 10 minutes before we reach their spot. Ok, listen, you're getting off at a very popular spot. Chances are, 90% of the people in front of you are also getting off there. It's one thing if the bus is empty for you to get up, but when you have to push everyone around, you're just being a jerk. Trust me, the bus will not leave with you still on it because the bus driver probably hates you as much as I do and wouldn't want to have to deal with you any longer than he or she has to. Pisses me off.
5. Forgetful Fred - Remember that funny thing you heard in that movie? Actually, no you don't. I hate it when people try and quote things and quote it wrong. It just really grates on my nerves. The mental equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. Especially when it's a quote everyone should know, like something from the Simpsons. Pisses me off.
6. The Deaf, Dumb and Blind - now I'm not talking about people who are really deaf, dumb and blind because that's sad. I'm talking about people who simply CHOOSE not to get informed and then ask stupid questions. It's like in Clerks when he gets all those questions with really obvious answers. For instance, here are some of the typical questions I get on a regular basis at work:
"Where's the (phone, bathroom, vending machines, computer lab)?" - You see that sign that says (phone, bathroom, vending machines, computer lab) that way? Yeah. Dumbass.
"Is this the computer lab?" - You see that huge sign in the window that says "Intramurals - Gee Gee Summer Camps"? Yeah. Dumbass.
"Where are the stairs/elevator?" - Um, turn your head ever so slightly to the left. You know, to the spot YOU JUST CAME FROM! Yeah. Dumbass. Pisses me off.
7. Barnyard Animals - I have issues with public washrooms. Why? Because decent, clean-living individuals have to share public washrooms with those raised in a barn, or perhaps even by wolves. Now, I understand that the toilet seat in a public washroom might not be the cleanest area so you might want to hover. However, if you do decide to hover, for pete's sake, DO NOT PEE ON THE SEAT! And if you do, please, please, please CLEAN IT UP! It's a lot easier for you to clean up after your own pee than it is for someone else to do it for you. I mean, who knows better where you've been than you? Also, seriously, flush the toilet. It's not hard. Just pull the little lever. Not all washrooms have the fancy high-tech flush-o-matics, so just pull it ok? And if you think the handle might be gross, here's a little tip: WASH YOUR DAMN HANDS! They even have soap you can use. Oh and one last thing. When the door to the stall is closed, QUIT YANKING ON IT! It's annoying! Just give a quick glance at the feet. It will be easier for you, since you probably never learned how to make that opposable thumb work anyway. Pisses me off.
Alright! I feel better now.
Feel free to vent any pet peeves, as long as they do not include people who vent their pet peeves on a public forum because that definitely pisses me off.
:p
posted by Nancy Kenny at
1:28 PM
2 Comments:
OK So.... I will admit that I am one of those people who tends to get quotes wrong quite frequently, but luckily (for you or me, I'm not sure yet) I dont think I do anything else wrong on the list.
By
Anonymous, at 9:11 PM
I'll admit the quote one is probably the one that bothers me the least. I should have mentioned that all pet peeves above are in no particular order. ;)
By
Nancy Kenny, at 9:27 PM
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