In Search of Conflict...
Or an obstacle…
Or even a point…
Writing is tough. I think I’ve rewritten the beginning of my play at least four or five times and yet I can’t seem to get to the end.
Sometimes I stop and wonder why I am doing this. I mean why me? Why did I go ahead and think I was so damn special, that I had something important to say to the world when it turns out all I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.
…
All I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.
Ok, looking at it that way, my plot line actually looks kinda cool… and I think I just had some more dialogue pop up in my head… and of course today is the day that I forget to bring one of the nine notebooks I usually carry around in my purse with me…
I just realized that sometimes it helps to actually take a step back and write down/unload all the junk that is clogging up your mind. Once that junk is gone, you might actually find what you’ve been looking for.
*************************************************
I got my Venue last night – Arts Court Theatre.
When I read my email, I held my breath at the thought of performing in that space. Not only am I producing my own piece of work for the entire world to see, I get to do it in a beautiful 130 seat theatre.
Then I did something like this:
OMG OMG OMG
I got ARts COurt Theatre
OMG
I can't fill that! I'm totally going to suck! My play is pure fluff and says nothing! NOTHING!
AJFREAJFESHJGSFKGSFKGSLFA
*pulls out hair and runs around the room screaming*
....
*after running out of breath, comes back in, sadly gluing clumps of hair back onto her head*
END SCENE
(Now why can’t my script come out as easily as my hair?)
Do I want the world to know that I am a person who is currently filled with doubts, insecurities, and a lingering feeling of guilt and inadequacy that I am filling a Fringe spot that could be better occupied by a much more professional and worthwhile company because it shatters this image of perfection and control that I have carefully tried to build around my life? Not really.
Do I want people to understand I’m a human being who isn’t perfect nor in control and for some cosmic reason was granted an absolutely fabulous opportunity to do something creative with her life and though she might fail, at least she tried? Yeah, I do.
Or even a point…
Writing is tough. I think I’ve rewritten the beginning of my play at least four or five times and yet I can’t seem to get to the end.
Sometimes I stop and wonder why I am doing this. I mean why me? Why did I go ahead and think I was so damn special, that I had something important to say to the world when it turns out all I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.
…
All I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.
Ok, looking at it that way, my plot line actually looks kinda cool… and I think I just had some more dialogue pop up in my head… and of course today is the day that I forget to bring one of the nine notebooks I usually carry around in my purse with me…
I just realized that sometimes it helps to actually take a step back and write down/unload all the junk that is clogging up your mind. Once that junk is gone, you might actually find what you’ve been looking for.
*************************************************
I got my Venue last night – Arts Court Theatre.
When I read my email, I held my breath at the thought of performing in that space. Not only am I producing my own piece of work for the entire world to see, I get to do it in a beautiful 130 seat theatre.
Then I did something like this:
OMG OMG OMG
I got ARts COurt Theatre
OMG
I can't fill that! I'm totally going to suck! My play is pure fluff and says nothing! NOTHING!
AJFREAJFESHJGSFKGSFKGSLFA
*pulls out hair and runs around the room screaming*
....
*after running out of breath, comes back in, sadly gluing clumps of hair back onto her head*
END SCENE
(Now why can’t my script come out as easily as my hair?)
Do I want the world to know that I am a person who is currently filled with doubts, insecurities, and a lingering feeling of guilt and inadequacy that I am filling a Fringe spot that could be better occupied by a much more professional and worthwhile company because it shatters this image of perfection and control that I have carefully tried to build around my life? Not really.
Do I want people to understand I’m a human being who isn’t perfect nor in control and for some cosmic reason was granted an absolutely fabulous opportunity to do something creative with her life and though she might fail, at least she tried? Yeah, I do.
Labels: Making It Work
posted by Nancy Kenny at
10:11 AM
5 Comments:
Feeling better now that you got that out of your system? I hope so because you wouldn't be an artist if you didn't have all of these insecuries. They're normal and we understand.
But...
speaking as a member of one of those "pro" companies that didn't make it into the Fringe, your show better be damn good!
teehee
By
Natalie Joy, at 12:44 PM
You're totally the group I keep thinking about too.
By
Nancy Kenny, at 4:31 PM
Don't sweat it. I'm kinda glad that my eight-month old pregnant belly won't be wobbling onstage then!
By
Natalie Joy, at 10:38 PM
That's right, NJQ... your eight-month old pregnant belly will be too busy wobbling away on some OTHER show...
By
Patrick Gauthier, at 4:17 AM
Yes Pat, but at least that will be behind the scenes and not in full view of every Fringe patron. Well, then again, I might be speaking too fast... who knows that the beer tent will bring!
By
Natalie Joy, at 9:34 AM
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