Rejection: It Never Gets Easier
I don't think I was suppose to find this out until Sunday, but it just goes to show how small the theatre community really is in Ottawa.
As you can probably tell from the title, I didn't get the part in that play I auditioned for.
You'd think that I would be used to it by now. I mean, this isn't the first time I haven't been cast in something and it definitely won't be the last. But when you pour your heart and soul into something, it still hurts like hell when you find out that it wasn't good enough.
I'm feeling hurt. I want to blame something or someone, but there is nothing to blame. I can't blame the person who got the part, because she is a wonderfully talented actress who I know will do a fantastic job. I can't blame the people who recommended me for the part because they were being supportive and truly thought I would do a good job. I can't blame the director because he is looking out for the best interest of his show. And I can't blame myself because I know I had a great audition and did the best that I could do.
Maybe that's what makes it so hard; the fact that it's so utterly out of my control.
I feel powerless. I'm insecure and filled with self-doubt even though I know I shouldn't be. I want to hate the world. I want to hate myself. I'm angry and depressed and selfish. I'm probably not the funnest person to be around at the moment.
Welcome to the glamorous world of acting!
I'll get over it eventually (we always do), but for now I think there is an ice cream container in the freezer with my name on it.
As you can probably tell from the title, I didn't get the part in that play I auditioned for.
You'd think that I would be used to it by now. I mean, this isn't the first time I haven't been cast in something and it definitely won't be the last. But when you pour your heart and soul into something, it still hurts like hell when you find out that it wasn't good enough.
I'm feeling hurt. I want to blame something or someone, but there is nothing to blame. I can't blame the person who got the part, because she is a wonderfully talented actress who I know will do a fantastic job. I can't blame the people who recommended me for the part because they were being supportive and truly thought I would do a good job. I can't blame the director because he is looking out for the best interest of his show. And I can't blame myself because I know I had a great audition and did the best that I could do.
Maybe that's what makes it so hard; the fact that it's so utterly out of my control.
I feel powerless. I'm insecure and filled with self-doubt even though I know I shouldn't be. I want to hate the world. I want to hate myself. I'm angry and depressed and selfish. I'm probably not the funnest person to be around at the moment.
Welcome to the glamorous world of acting!
I'll get over it eventually (we always do), but for now I think there is an ice cream container in the freezer with my name on it.
Labels: The Actor
posted by Nancy Kenny at
3:58 PM
4 Comments:
Is she blonde, a redhead? Is she taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, more or less buxom, more or less hippy than you? Is her voice more grating, softer, sweeter, deeper than yours? Does she have whiter teeth? Does she not?
You never know. Directors get something in their head and no matter how well you read, if that something walks in the room it will beat you every time. Don't be too hard on yourself.
By
anycheese, at 11:59 PM
Maybe her name has the correct number of umlauts.
(Remember, parents: two is too many.)
By
Anonymous, at 12:01 AM
you are great and brave. dont forget it. and i recommend ben & jerry's 'chocolate chip cookie dough'. or breyer's 'vanilla'. OR! (and people often get surprised at how good this is) 'Rolo' ice cream
By
Eugenia, at 1:33 PM
My personal fave is Heavenly Hash
By
Nancy Kenny, at 4:00 PM
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