Where's the Punchline?

I can't take a compliment.

Darcy tells me I look beautiful and I shrug him off because I feel that he's just saying that because he's my boyfriend (even though I know Darcy doesn't say stuff unless he means it).

Last night a friend tells me I look tiny (I've lost 15 pounds since my cousins wedding in August) and I'm confused. What do you mean tiny? Look at the fat here and the jelly rolls there, ect, ect. Even though I've lost weight I'm still not satisfied.

At rehearsal, after about an hour of text work, my "mother" and I do our scene. The director and everyone else in the room declare that it's great! They were captivated. They really wanted to know how things played out. I wonder what they are talking about. How could it be great? We've only done it a few times and we're still two months away from opening night. There's no way it could be great at this point could it? The director mentions that except for a few minor details that she is very happy with the scene. AHA! Details! So it's not that great! I knew it!

Gosh, why can't I just accept it when someone gives me a compliment without scanning for sarcams or suspecting that there is some ulterior motive attached to it? Why can't I just say thank you and leave it at that? Why?

I'm messed up.