The Phantom of the Opera is Zzzzzzzz

When telling people I was going to see The Phantom of the Opera for the first time last weekend, I was met with a generic response that was along the lines of "It's great, I've seen it *insert number here* times now!"

Having now seen the show, I can't help but ask those very same people "Why? Why would you put yourself through that so many times?"

Last year, I had attempted to sit through the movie version of the show, but promptly fell asleep somewhere around the Masquerade. No matter, I thought, someone had told me the movie wasn't very good anyway.

And I did like the music. I used to find the Phantom's organ theme song downright creepy and anything sung by Sarah Brightman hauntingly beautiful. I had also heard that, of any musical, this one was full of wonder and spectacle. After all, a chandelier does go crashing through the stage.

Unfortunately, I was severely disappointed with the NAC's production.

The acting was sub-par, the mic volume was on and off, there was no creepiness, and, except for a few pyrotechnics, the spectacle was severely lacking. The chandelier just kind of slowly jerked its way down to the stage while someone screamed. Have you ever seen Austin Powers where he's approaching a guard in a steam roller and yelling at him to get out of the way as the guy screams for his life, only when the camera pans out you see that he is no where near the guy in question? It kind of felt like that with the chandelier.

The singing was fairly pretty. The girl playing Christine was an understudy and, although she did better than I ever could with those high notes, there was no conviction in her voice. I just didn't believe her.

Oh and has anyone ever realized how the plot line to Phantom makes absolutely no sense?


*SPOILERS - SKIP TO THE END IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE PLOT (or lack thereof)*

*EDIT* Although the Ottawa Sun liked it more than I did, the review does bring up a few of my issues with the show and then some.

I think I first started realizing I couldn't suspend my disbelief much longer when the Phantom lured Christine to his lair and she took off his mask. The Phantom, outraged (or whatever that actor thought would pass for outrage as he rolled around on the floor in a weepy tantrum), tells her that now that she has seen him, she will never be free again. Then he promptly tells her he has to bring her back because people will be looking for her.
The hell?

Then when the Phantom actually starts killing people, I couldn't help wondering why people didn't just leave the theatre. You know, just sell the building, cut your losses, and move out. It's like watching a laughably bad horror movie where all the characters are running upstairs instead of out the front door.

When Christine and Raoul declare their love to each other and the Phantom responds by dropping a chandelier (see above for my comments on that), you'd think that they would have learned their lesson and run far far away from the opera house.
Nope. Six months later, they're back for a party.
Gee, do you think that a guy who runs around in a mask might take this as a good opportunity to present himself since the party is a MASQUERADE BALL? Who's bright idea for a party was that?

After this, I was fighting hard not to fall asleep during the rest of the performance. I was alert again when the Phantom started shooting fireballs from his hands (Wait, I thought we established a little earlier that he's just a circus freak, not a real ghost... so where did the fireballs come from???)

Then Raoul wises up and realizes that they can trap the Phantom and shoot him onstage because he wants to see Christine sing. Raoul has these cops stationed all over the place, including one in the orchestra pit. At one point the cops shoot at the Phantom but miss. I guess the cops took missing the shot pretty hard and went to console themselves with some French pastries or something because they ALL LEAVE and let the show begin.
So when Christine ends up singing with the Phantom onstage FRONT AND CENTRE there is NO ONE around to shoot him! Of course, the Phantom runs away with Christine... again.

Then there is some bit about keeping your hand at eye level or whatever... I didn't get it. I dunno. I was getting sleepy again.

The Phantom captures Raoul in the stupidest trap ever. Now he's got the girl and her lover. He tells her she has to love him or he dies. She kisses him. He lets everybody go... wait? Why did he just do that? That was stupid. Now he tells them to keep his existence a secret... Uh, dude, I hate to tell you this, but everybody just saw you kill a man and kidnap a girl on stage, not to mention there's an angry mob making it's way down to your lair as you speak and so...

You know what? Never mind. The Phantom does a nice bit of disappearing from behind his cape and lights fade "dramatically" on the mask he left behind.


**********END SPOILERS*****************

Don't get me wrong, I am glad I saw the musical. It's the longest running musical of all time and I wanted to know what it was all about.

But for God's sake, why would people subject themselves to this crap over and over again? Seriously. If you really want to see a big budget musical, go see something done by Sondheim. Or better yet, save your money and go see something like Avenue Q instead.


Funny aside from Wikipedia:
It seems Andrew Lloyd Webber had started working on a sequel called the Phantom of Manhattan. "However, according to a report published in the Daily Mail newspaper, a bizarre mishap has delayed the sequel; Lloyd Webber's cat, Otto, a rare-breed Turkish Van, clambered onto the digital Clavinova piano and managed to delete the entire score for Phantom of Manhattan. Lloyd Webber was unable to recover any of it from the instrument."

Good job, kitty.