So you want to be an actor?

New Blog

2009-03-01T13:05:00.003-05:00

Wondering where I went? I'm now blogging through wordpress. If you'd like to follow along, you can find me there.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

2008-08-28T13:29:00.003-04:00

I am a professional actor

Towards the end of my shoot on a wonderful little horror movie, the director forbid me from denying that fact. Mostly because he was sick of me haranguing him for saying he was not a professional director. Don't you hate it when your good advice gets thrown back in your face?

Well, he was right.

I've had a crazy month of August. The first two weeks were taken up by said horror movie and I audited a very inspirational acting course.

The movie reminded me how much fun acting was, how much I loved being on set, and how great it is to be part of a team working passionately towards something that's bigger than yourself. Even the incredibly early morning wake-up calls (did you know there's a 4:30 in the morning now?) only reminded me that I was getting up to go do something I absolutely adore doing (and if that happened to include cutting people in half with a chain saw or sending someone off a cliff, who was I to argue?).

The course made me realize that I was being a lazy actor. If I'm honest with myself, I know that I expected lots of great parts with very little effort or preparation. I'd go into an audition and just expect talent to carry me through. I would complain about how hard I was working to get things done, but I was really wasn't working at all.

So, for an upcoming audition, I prepared like mad. I wasn't going to let old habits stand in the way of what I wanted. I was going to get this part. I read the script a few times and immediately picked a scene that struck a cord with me. I brushed off my monologue and put it on its feet. And then I did something that I never allowed myself to do in the past.
I got help.
Thanks to two really great friends, I got to play with both scene and monologue. They helped me discover things about the characters and make good choices. They were lifesavers.

I arrived at the audition feeling rather grounded. I was feeling happy just to be there. Adequate preparation had already taken away about 50% of my nerves to the point that when I realized there were five extra people in the room than what I had envisioned, I didn't freak out. I was actually glad for the opportunity to play in front of more people. And play I did. I didn't take my self too seriously and had fun. Yes, Nancy, acting is fun!

And then I got a callback.

Wow!

Then I took a page out of my amazing friend's handbook. I went to my resume and added the credit to the list. I was letting the universe know that I believed it could happen.

Guess what? I got the part.

I laughed uncontrollably for about two minutes when I received the news.

Nancy Kenny will be appearing in Rabbit Hole this October at the new Gladstone Theatre (Get your tickets now!)

**********************************

On Monday morning, I went and took the crazy to a whole other level. I walked into work and I gave them my notice. After about four years of floundering about in full-time jobs, I realized that if I wanted to truly be a professional actor, I had to either shit or get off the pot. Well, gosh darnit, it's time to shit!

To tell you the truth, no decision has ever felt so right before. It was time.

I'll be at my current job until September 12, and then rehearsals start for Rabbit Hole. My contract is for six weeks until October 25th.

After that point, who knows, but I believe (and it's about damn time I did) that I can be an actor and still manage to take care of myself.

Besides, if ever I'm royally fucked, I'll just move in to my film director's basement and take his DVD collection hostage.
Because I am a professional actor and he created a monster.

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

2008-08-20T21:31:00.003-04:00

(NOTE - been trying to set up a shiny new blog but I haven't really had the time, so the old one will have to make due for now.)

Hi Mom, summer vacation was awesome! You'd be so proud of me! First of all, I had to go to this really cheap wedding (I swear they got their decorations at the Dollar Store), but my husband (who says hi, btw) let me play with his chainsaw when I got bored and that really livened things up (and no, that's not a euphemism, please get your mind out of the gutter, mom). I learned a few valuable lessons that day though: I found out that I need to work out some more because chainsaws are heavy and that blood is sticky, so I really shouldn't forget to bring a towel.
Oh, listen, mom, lots of other really cool stuff happened too, but I have to get going. I'm in a bit of a rush to go pick up the kids. Anyway, here's a picture we took at the wedding.

I have lots more that I can't wait to show you when I see you on January 17th.

Love you!

******************************************

Death Rally - in theatres (or at least one theatre in Aylmer) on January 17th.

The Break (Up)

2008-07-21T15:45:00.003-04:00

I've been in a pretty steady relationship for over 11 years now with my mistress, Acting, but I've finally realized that it might be time for us to take a little break.

Why? Because she's a damanding bitch who is constantly breaking my heart. That's why.

Don't get me wrong, we're really good together and when she's around, it's just amazing! The problem is, the lousy tramp never sticks around long enough. She just uses me and, when she's done, throws me away like an old program. She's a fucking tease too, always luring me in with the promise of a good time only to crush my hopes and tear down my dreams with barely a "We'll let you know..."

So until she learns to respect me a little more, I'm shackin' up with the new kid on the block, Writing. Me, him, and my laptop, we're in for a sinfully good time.

And who knows? Maybe when we've settled down together, I might call up that old flame and see how she's doing. I might even ask her to pop in for a visit. Only this time, it will be on my terms.

I Guess This Is Growing Up?

2008-07-15T18:55:00.003-04:00

I've been told on two separate occasions today by two separate people that I need to be a grown-up. The underlying theme being that it's nice to have dreams and I've done a great job at "trying things out" but maybe it's time to start taking life more seriously. It really hurts to hear that because a small insecure little part in me worries that they may be right.

Mixed Blessings and the Blues

2008-07-10T13:51:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure what to think about work last night at Bluesfest.

On the one hand, I think I found my pick of the festival. That honour goes to the wonderful Jim Bryson. The guy had the total package: great music, fantastic stage presence, and a great sense of humour. And he's local too! The crowd was packed in around him at the Black Sheep Stage and loved every minute. If he's ever playing anywhere else in town, I think I may have to show up and buy a CD.

On the other hand, another local boy completely disproved my theory that

Guitar + Guy + Stage = Sexy

I'm not going to name names (though it would be easy enough to find out who I'm talking about) but this guy epitomized the word "Tool". I found his music to be bland, he acted like a total douche on stage and, as a fellow performer who is trying to get funding from the city to pursue her art, I was incredibly insulted by his blazé and ungrateful bragging about what he would do with the money the City of Ottawa has offered him and his band.

Anyway, it was also a bittersweet night because although I got to talk to some pretty nice people (including some folks who wanted me to join them for a beer - Raincheck?), neither myself nor my colleagues managed to make our quotas.

I don't think it was really our fault. Most of the shows were ALL on at the same time so we couldn't help each other out like we have in the past and a lot of people at this point have now answered our survey already, but we still got a talking to for it.

Only 4 nights left...

I wish I was back at the Fringe.

It's Not You, It's Me

2008-07-09T11:05:00.003-04:00

For Monday's random music pick, I draw your attention to the Creaking Tree String Quartet.

As for Tuesday, unfortunately I was inside at the Barney Danson Theatre and so didn't get to hear anything really except what was on the mainstage outside and that didn't impress me much. I was also long gone before the Fergalicious one even showed up.

***********************************************

Dear Jully:

Listen, I know you tried really hard to get to me last night. You know how much I like to move it, move it, but honestly, I don't think it's working out between us. No, no, you didn't really DO anything wrong. I'm just not feeling you that's all. Maybe it's because you remind me so much of that drama queen, Mary J Blige, who I was able to tolerate until she went and ruined a perfectly good U2 song. Or maybe it was because you beat out a buddy of mine for R&B/Soul Recording of the Year at the Junos (and if Fat Al from God Made Me Funky is reading this, How's it going, dude?)

...

Actually, no, it's because of THAT song... you know the one I'm talking about... I'm glad you got a lot of success out of it, but it just plays SO MUCH! And have you ever listened to what the lyrics actually say? Oh honey, why would you want to spend all your time doing your man's laundry and washing his floors? Maybe that was love in 1961, but you're in a whole new century now. Couldn't you have gone out to a spa or something instead? I'm sure that would have made for an equally great song.

You're a beautiful woman with a lot of talent and you've got a great sense of humour to boot(I saw you try and get my attention on Video on Trial). I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else who will truly be able to appreciate you. I think we just need a little bit of time apart so we can reevaluate our priorities and focus on finding out what we truly want out of life.

Someday soon, we'll laugh about this, Jully, as we sit on a patio, drinking sangria and making fun of Mary J.

I look forward to that day,

Nancy

Halfway There

2008-07-07T10:38:00.002-04:00

Though I hate crowds (and have avoided the mainstages at Bluesfest for the very reason), I love people watching. There's something really peaceful about people lounging around in the sun, chilling out to good music. The weather's been perfect lately and it looks like it may last through the whole festival. I've already burnt some parts of my body (the ones where my hands can't fully reach with sunscreen), but as someone who usually looks like an out of place vampire during the summer, I don't actually mind. It will turn into a tan eventually.

I've also had a great opportunity to discover some new music. My new music picks for Friday and Saturday go to Royal Wood and Jen Grant, respectively. Royal reminds me a bit of Ben Folds and he was very funny onstage. Jen Grant was just adorable and talked about how her dog died and she wrote a song about him, but it's a happy song so it's all good. Seriously, adorable!

For Sunday, I want to let people know about The Acorn (who may be local, but I'm not sure), but hands down the best show of day had to be Snoop Dogg.

A sense of morbid curiosity drew me to the Bank of America stage. After all, since I was on site, why not check it out? I avoided the crowds by staying outside the gates and watched from the jumbo screens. I have to admit, the D-O-Double G is quite the showman and knows how to manipulate a crowd. Sens Jersey, bedazzled microphone, giant joint stolen from the crowd... Plus, he actually started in on a rendition of House of Pain's Jump Around. I'm not sure what was more fun: his on-stage personna or watching middle-aged white suburbanites try to drop it like it's hot...

From One Festival To Another OR Please Take My Two Minute Survey

2008-07-04T10:50:00.002-04:00

Well, the Fringe Festival is over and I've already jumped head first into another one of Ottawa's summer spectacles: Bluesfest.

I'll be spending the next two weeks on site getting little surveys filled out by people who purchased tickets to the festival.

It's a pretty sweet gig. Not only do I get a free pass to all the concerts, but I get paid for it too. It's also a great way to get into some new music. Last night, I was stationed at the Rogers stage where Matt Mays and El Torpedo were playing. Before they even got to Cocaine Cowgirl, I was hooked.

What is it about a guitar that makes a skinny guy with long greasy hair and five days worth of stubble look like the sexiest man alive? Is it the way he holds it, both delicately and forcefully at the same time? Or did Les Paul have some kind of Austin Power-esque mojo that he bottled up and had sprayed into every single one of his instruments?

The people I get to take the surveys are an interesting bunch. Some people want to talk to you too much, like this guy who wanted to find out how to get his date to go to a hotel with him when asked about accomodations during Bluesfest (oh and his least favorite thing about Bluesfest? The fact that his date didn't have a twin sister...), while others won't talk to you at all. One girl I approached turned her back on me and walked away. Sheesh. You could have just said you weren't interested instead of being rude.

I'm having fun though. I may even get to see Feist tonight!

Random Facebook Musings

2008-07-03T10:02:00.002-04:00

I really like the status updates for facebook. Twice now, I've gone looking for stuff and twice now one of my 600+ friends had the required item.

Nancy is looking for a ladies motorcycle jacket - Boom! There it is.

Nancy is looking for a cheap copy of Microsoft Office Professional - Boom! Again.

I'm a strong believe in the ask the universe and you shall receive line of thought.

Let's see how this one works out:

Nancy is looking for a multi-million dollar movie deal...

Post Show Blues

2008-07-02T09:11:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe Festival concluded this past Sunday and, thanks to an oddly placed holiday during the week, it hasn't really hit me until now. It's typical to feel a slight crash after a show, but I think it may be worst after the Fringe Festival.

Though it was hard going to work every day with the festival on, I really didn't mind it because I was pumped about the night ahead. How often can you perform in two shows in one night, see two other shows, and then sit down with a very large group of like-minded individuals, drinking beer and talking about art? On one night, karaoke was even included.

I love the atmosphere that comes along with the Fringe. I always find it very inspiring. I met an 18 year old girl who was appearing in her own one-woman show, her third since the age of 16. I met mothers who manage to juggle their artistic endeavors with familial obligations. I met people who take their shows across Canada (and sometimes the world) and spend the vast majority of the year on the road.

They all make it look so easy and fun (though I know it's more fun than easy).

So now I am back at work and wondering what comes next. I envy the many performers I met who are living the true life of an artist and are free from the shackles of the 9 to 5 lifestyle. Though I'm sure many of them would be more than happy with my paycheck (which will be increasing shortly thanks to a promotion I've just received), I don't think any of them would trade it in to lose out on doing what they love.

I guess in the end it's all about perspective. There are lots of great things in my immediate future. On top of getting a promotion at work, tomorrow I start a job at Bluesfest, another cool festival in town. I'll be doing surveys for a large pocketful of cash and access to all the festival events and headliners. If you see me hanging around a venue, stop by, say hi, and take a minute to fill out my questionnaire.

I'm really looking forward to shooting a film for two weeks in August, my first real paid gig. Also, Evolution Theatre got a lot of great press and sold out many shows during the Fringe. We broke even early on, which means we'll actually get a little bit of coinage for the work we did. Evolution's next show will be in September and I will be taking care of publicity for that one.

After that though, I'm not too sure. I've had a few auditions for stuff in October, but I don't know if any of it will pan out. It may be a perfect time for me to go visit a friend in Japan. Or write some stuff. Or take lessons to brush up on new skills.

Who knows where the wind blows...

Halfway Through the Fringe

2008-06-25T12:25:00.004-04:00

Well, we are now past the midway point of the Fringe and its been pretty exciting so far. Evolution Theatre has had 5 shows so far and 3 of them have sold out! We've also gotten some great reviews from both the CBC Radio and on the Ottawa Fringe website.
And somehow, with all that, I've also managed to see 10 plays.

So what would I recommend (besides my show, of course)?

Well, I definitely think people should check out Sorrow in the Studio Leonard-Beaulne. Don't let the title fool you. This is a beautiful, touching and sometimes funny piece written by Alan Jeans, directed by Teri Loretto, and starring Lisa Twardowska. The story follows a fictitious account of the real life of Clasina Maria Hoornik (also known as Sien), prostitute, model, and mistress of the painter Vincent Van Gogh. As she prepares to drown herself Sien vividly re-lives her journey from the innocence of her youth to the depths of her ultimate sorrow.

Also, you are a fool if you miss out on Die Roten Punkte, an absolutely hilarious spoof (dear God, I hope it was a spoof!) of the punk-rock music scene with these two german sibblings. I can't even really put into words what this show is about. Just know that it was incredibly funny and deservedly won for best production at the Montreal Fringe Festival.

The Wedding Night is a great little script (sort of Norm Foster meets Sex in the City) and I thought that Kate Smith and Joe Marques had wonderful chemistry together on stage.

Finally, A Leave of Absinthe is worth a look. It is still a work in progress, but I found many aspects of the show to be very interesting. They also got some pretty great reviews from the CBC and the Ottawa Citizen.

The Fringe continues until this Sunday night so make sure you get out there and see some theatre!

Ottawa Fringe - Day 1 Wrap Up / Day 2 Preview

2008-06-20T08:46:00.004-04:00

I messed up my Sudoku schedule game already. Note to self: use a pencil, not a pen.
Last night was the first night of shows for the Fringe. Since we were holding our dress rehearsal, I realized I probably wouldn't be able to see anything but an 11pm show.
Well, I forgot that I needed to be at CKCU for 7:15am this morning to do an interview about This Is A Play (which was awesome and will be posted on our Facebook Group as soon as I get the file!) so I had to choose sleep over plays... I guess I'm getting old since I'm not as hard core as I used to be.
I was also planning on seeing Without A Clue at 6:30pm tonight since it has a great cast and is a throwback to one of my favorite board games turned into a movie, Clue (take that Untitled Monopoly Project!)
But since my call time is set for 7pm and I really need that time to do my hair and get focused, I am going to go check out This Is A Very Old Story. It seems interesting because, not only is it taking place outdoors but, it's also on STILTS! I missed these guys when they performed last year at the Fringe and the Magnetic North Theatre Festival.
Then, after my second performance tonight, I will be watching Vision Theatre's One Acts by David Ives at 11pm (I get to sleep in tomorrow, so watch out!)

So I have a pretty busy night ahead of me and I love it! The Fringe is a wonderful time of year in Ottawa.

Happy fringing and I'll see you at the tent!

So You Wanna Fringe It Up?

2008-06-19T16:54:00.003-04:00

First of all, get yourself one of the handy dandy fringe programs and skip strait to the center schedule. This is your new best friend!

Then decide which one of my shows you're going to go see.

Now, be ready to play a krazy game of Sudoku.

Trust me on this one. You'll pick a show at 11pm. Then realize that another show you really want to see is also playing at 11pm. So you try to figure out what other timeslot works best for either show. And so on and so forth until you realize someone is going to be pissed you missed adding their show to your schedule... so you have to go back and start all over again...

I have dress rehearsal tonight so I probably can only make it out to an 11pm show. It's just a matter of deciding which one. Will it be Judith Shakespeare, Trashcan Duets or Hey Bartender? All of them are 2 for 1.

Decisions, decisions...

It has only just begun!

I Just Wanted To Be An Actor...

2008-06-16T10:34:00.002-04:00

That's it. I just wanted to act. I wanted to audition for stuff and get cast in other people's projects and that would be that.

However, I realized recently, that it was not meant to be for me.

No no, I'm not saying I'm giving up acting (it's not that time of the month yet). What I am saying is that I won't just be an actor. I'll always be involved in some other way as a producer, a publicist, a set builder, a front of house crew, a writer, a director maybe, and/or whatever else might need to be done to achieve my goal to act. I'm always going to get my hands dirty.

And I think I am finally ok with that.

************************
Speaking of getting my hands dirty, the Ottawa Fringe Festival is quickly approaching! I am serving double duty as actor and publicist for Evolution Theatre's presentation of Daniel MacIvor's This Is A Play.

You can check out the schedule here and even buy your tickets online!

Please note, you have to have a 2$ Fringe pin to attend any shows at the festival. Also, our venue only seats about 30 people so come early enough to get your seat!

If you have Facebook...

2008-06-11T14:07:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe has this wonderful little Facebook application that let's you sign up for the shows you want to see and invite your friends to see the show with you.

I definitely recommend you get it here: http://apps.facebook.com/ottawafringe/home/

Be sure to add This Is A Play to your viewing schedule!

Coming Soon To Your Friendly Neighbourhood Fringe:

2008-06-05T10:48:00.003-04:00

The Ottawa Fringe Festival is coming up soon, and I'm very excited. I think the Summer Camp theme they've got going on this year is appropriate since that's always how I saw it. You show up, drink, play, make friends for ten days and then your mom picks you up and you don't see them again until next year.

I will definitely try to see as many shows as I possibly can. Some local stuff that I'm looking forward to right now (and this list is by no means complete) include The Wedding Night by Silent Quemb Productions, Without a Clue by Enigma Productions, Vision Theatre's night of One Acts by David Ives, and A Leave of Absinthe with mutatis mutandis.

And of course, you just have to check out Evolution Theatre's latest offering (which also stars yours truly):

Daniel MacIvor's This Is A Play
Directed by Chris Bedford

Starring:
Scott Goldman
Nancy Kenny
Kel Parsons

Show Dates and Times:
Friday, June 20th - 8 p.m. (2 for 1 Tickets) and 9:30 p.m.
Saturday, June 21st - 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
Sunday, June 22nd - 7 p.m.
Wednesday, June 25th - 8 p.m.
Thursday, June 26th - 10 p.m.
Friday, June 27th - 8 p.m. and 9:30 p.m.
Saturday, June 28th - 2 p.m. and 8 p.m.
Sunday, June 29th - 6:30 p.m.

We are located in Studio 311, which is on the third floor of the U of O Theatre Building - right above two other official fringe venues and mere seconds from the beer tent!

Tickets are $10 at the door.

They can also be purchased in advanced at the Fringe Office OR ONLINE!.

Discount festival passes may also be purchased.

Visit www.ottawafringe.com for details.

See you at the Fringe!

Random Ramblings and Internal Debates

2008-06-03T13:40:00.002-04:00

Sometimes I think I may be a robot.

First of all, I like schedules and knowing exactly what I will be doing, when and where for almost every minute of every day. I like predictability and have trouble adjusting to change. I get annoyed if someone happens to be using my "usual" stall in the bathroom at work...

When learning a new song, I usually do so by ear. Every note, every rythm, every twang in the voice, I faithfully copy and repeat without any modifications or adjustments to make it my own. I'm an excellent mimic. The end result is then flat, colourless... robotic.

I realized last night that I also do this when I'm acting. It's as if I don't want to consider it an art form, but a science with formulas and absolutes.
Something like: Acting = Lines + Blocking + Emotional Motivation

This is serious stuff. It is work and I want to be taken seriously. Tell me how you want it to be done and I will do it exactly that way without originality or fun or deviation from the chosen path... And the end result was flat, lifeless, robotic.

I know better. My head knows better. But somehow my wires seem to be crossed and I can't connect what's in my head to the rest of my body. Instead of true human behavior, I end up with an imitation of human behaviour.

Or maybe I'm just a human who wants to be a robot. A human who shuts herself down so she doesn't have to be brave and really feel something human because humans are imperfect and insecure and easily get hurt.

Nah, that sounds too deep. I probably shouldn't be watching so much Battlestar Galactica before I go to bed...

0.57

2008-05-29T12:57:00.002-04:00

Lately, I'm not sure why, I've been toying with the idea of going back to school. Getting a Master's degre is something that has always been running around in the back of my head, especially if I could do my thesis on one particular aspect of the theatre that touches me on a deeply personal level.

Because I would love to do my thesis on theatre in the acadian culture, I always thought my only option would be l'Université de Moncton. However, a move to Moncton just does not appeal to me at the moment. With the addition of a new MA program at the U of O and their additional focus on francophone culture, I started thinking well, why not here and now?

I had been reading in the papers that the university was adding money to their graduate scholarship programs which I thought might work for me. Unfortunately, to gain access to these scholarships, you need at least an 8.0 GPA. I'm off by at least 0.57

No scholarship for me.

I left my undergrad with over 40K in debt which I am nowhere near done paying off. Now being a home-owner, I don't think I'm ready to get even deeper into more of that.

If anyone has any suggestions, I would love to hear them.

Faith/Fate

2008-05-08T14:49:00.004-04:00

If you've been reading along, you've probably been wondering what crawled up my shorts, died, and started rotting there to make me seem so cranky and pessimistic.

To be honest with you, though I've vented some pretty negative posts, and I felt that way in the moment, I don't feel that way all the time.

In all actuality, I'm quite hopeful about life in general. It may sound corny, but I do believe that everything happens for a reason, that we make mistakes and go through rough patches to learn what it is we truly want out of life.

There are a lot of great things happening in my life right now. I own my own home. My theatre company had a successful season opener and I will be appearing in our Fringe show this summer. I've been helping another friend out with pre-production work on his short film which will be shooting in August and in which he wants me to take the lead. Unlike other times people have told me they've wanted me in their film, this one is actually going to happen.

So what if I'm not nailing every audition I've been going to. Maybe there's a reason for that. Maybe my time is suppose to be free for something else. Or maybe, I'm suppose to realize that there are other areas of my life that need my attention...

Whatever it is, I believe that everything in my life is going to work out (is working out) to be the best for me.

*****************
Said The Universe to Nancy:

"Do you have any idea how many princesses have gone unrecognized by their prince, because of logic? Or, how many princes have gone unrecognized by their princess, because of pride?

How many dreams were dashed when the handmaiden answered the door? Or when the gatehouse was mistaken for the mansion? Or when the calm before the storm of abundance and good fortune was viewed as a sign to retreat?

Happily, we've got forever and ever. And fortunately, it's never too late to see what one's missed, remain focused on the dream instead of the "hows," and move with unwavering faith."

So you want to be an Actor?

2008-05-07T19:41:00.004-04:00

My advice to you: don't. Just don't do it. Run far far away in the opposite direction and never look back.

Why? Because it is soul-crushingly hard.

You think your job is soul-crushing? Picture your last job interview. How nervous you were. How broke you were. How much you just "needed" it.

Now imagine that you have to go through that process all the time. Every single time you want to work. Every single time you want to get paid for doing what you love most in the world. Except, instead of strangers in the waiting room, you run into all of your friends. And you laugh nervously hoping against all hope that it will be you and not them and getting wracked with guilt at the same time for feeling that way.

Then when you finally go into the interview and you show them your resume and your credentials and you do a little song and dance for them, answer all their questions the right way, and you give it your all... after all that you find out that you actually didn't get it because of something so totally and completely out of your control like your height or your hair colour or your weight or your teeth or the fact that you look just like someone else at the office and it would be confusing to everybody else to have two of you running around...

You feel the wind knocked out of you. You see the ground fall out from beneath you and those stars and dreams you were reaching out for that just a minute ago seemed so close slide further and further away. And your Sisyphean oddyssey begins again...

So unless you are prepeared to dust yourself off every time and start pushing that boulder once again, I repeat, don't become an actor. Just don't.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to clean off the dust on my shoes.

I Don't Get It

2008-04-30T16:13:00.003-04:00

Over the past two months, I had been spending a lot of time and money on acting workshops. In fact, I had one just this past weekend.

These workshops have been great since most of them focused on the almighty audition. You see, it's a well known fact that you can be one of the greatest actors in the world, but just completely suck at auditions.

There's a story in one of my books that talks about this casting director who was out seeing A Streetcar Named Desire on stage with Marlon Brando. Brando had completely mesmerized him and he called his assistant to ask why he had never seen this wonderful actor before. His assistant checked in their files. Marlon Brando had already auditioned for this casting director eight times.

I believe I am a good actor. It's more than that actually. I know I am a good actor. This past weekend, I felt comfortable in my skin during my mock auditions with a prominent casting director from Toronto. I actually liked the way I looked on camera and truly felt that I had done some of my best work. Best of all, I had fun. I was ready for my next big audition!

Which happened to be today...

It was for a corporate video, in English and in French. No problem, I thought. I know that I have a natural ability to host things. I learned my lines and I dressed the part.

But something happened today...

I started getting scared. I started thinking about how much I really wanted to nail this gig because I hadn't done any professional work in a while now. I started thinking about my credit card and how much I could really really really use the money. I started worrying about my braces and the fact that most people believe me if I tell them I'm twenty... the breakdown said they wanted someone 30 to 40...

I panicked.

All the way down on the bus, I went over my lines in my head. Ok, good, I know them. I put on some lipstick and powdered my nose. Great, I look stylishly business but still friendly and cute. Then the receptioninst told me they had a telepromter in the room. Even better!

I sat down and tried to calm the pounding in my heart, tried to breathe and ground myself, tried to just relax and have fun, tried to get rid of the pasty, chalky taste in my mouth. This is just another silly audition after all.

I walked down a hall and around cubicles to the room. Somehow it felt like "dead-man walking". I walked into the room. The faces were friendly, familiar and smiling. Nothing to worry about.

There is NO teleprompter.

SHIT!

I placed myself on the mark. I'm asked to do the English sides first. No problem, no problem. "Welcome to the..." OH fuck! Welcome to what? WELCOME TO WHAT?!? I feel the papers shake in my hand as I look down the barrel. The director tells me I can read from the page if I want to.

But I don't need to read, I KNOW MY LINES! I KNEW THEM ON THE BUS! ASK THE LADY WHO THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY FOR WHISPERING THEM NEXT TO HER!!! I want to scream that out, but I don't.

I try again. I stumble and bumble and fumble again and again. I don't want to read directly from the sheet because my hands are trembling so much that the sheet shakes and makes a terrible noise. I'm sure it sounds louder in my head.

It seems to take forever. Start-Stop-Go Again. Stumble some more...

The French is just like the English.

By the time we go in for a closer shot, I'm so pissed at myself, I'm sure I don't sound too friendly. At least, I don't seem to need the sheet anymore.

SEE! I did know my lines.

Too late though.

The director shakes my hand on the way out and tells me she hopes it's not too cold out. I stutter (when did I pick up a stutter?) that it's actually quite beautiful out... quite quite quite beautiful.

Besides, I'm so hot under the collar right now, I don't think I can ever again feel cold.

I leave, holding my head up, trying not to cry.

Man that sucked!

I make it all the way downstairs before I realize I forgot my coat.

Shit, fuck, shit, fuck, fuck, fuck SHIIIIIIIITTTT!!!!

Great, now my eyes are leaking.

Sigh... now I have to just put it all behind me until the next audition.

So you sure you want to be an actor?

Ventriloquist Review

2008-04-28T14:26:00.001-04:00

We got a glowing review this morning from CBC Radio's Alvina Ruprecht for our production of The Ventriloquist. You can read it for yourself below, or check out at the CBC website, along with the NAC's All for Love Review here:
Our section in the review starts at about 6 minutes and 50 seconds in.

Needless to say, I am incredibly pleased. I hope, if you haven't seen the show already, that you will be able to make it out this week. We have shows from Wed to Sat at 8pm in the Studio Leonard Beaulne of the University of Ottawa. There is also a 3pm matinee on May 3rd. Tickets can be reserved by calling 613-864-3386 or by email through reservations@evolutiontheatre.ca. You can also buy them in advance at the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin St.) between 5pm and 2am - Tuesday to Sunday or at the door. CASH ONLY

I am very proud of our "important contribution to the professional theatre scene in Ottawa" and I hope that you will all be able to come out and support us this week.

**********************************************

Host: Now, I understand you also want to talk about a new play by Evolution Theatre that also opened last week.

Alvina: Yes, this is a new… Evolution Theatre is a new professional company and the play they are doing now is called The Ventriloquist, and it’s a little dramatic chef d’oeuvre by veteran Québécois playwright, Larry Tremblay. This is an English translation by Keith Turnbull and this is a drama that delves into the psyche of an individual who lives in his own reality.

Now, I don’t want to give away any surprises, but I can say that there is a young man here manipulating a doll who appears to be an adolescent girl and he is called the ventriloquist, because he’s projecting voices through her. But as the play progresses we realize that the voices are those coming from a very disturbed mind that is playing out sexual fantasies and all kinds of other needs. And the thing is we are drawn into this inner world without actually realizing what is happening. It’s not clear until the very end. Very interesting, the structure was very interesting.

It’s a brilliant little play the director, Chris Bedford, has understood perfectly and he has enhanced the psychic disturbance by stylizing it all to the hilt, which was perfect. He even brings in shadow performances by parents who sort of flutter in the background and to draw out the grotesque nature of it all. And the lead actress, Lisa Twardowska, who plays the young girl, Gaby, is excellent.

This is a serious group of young people who are ready to take on the challenges, I think, of demanding contemporary theatre and they should be supported. They’re doing a really good job. They don’t have much money, obviously, at this point, but they are an important contribution to the professional theatre scene in Ottawa and that’s quite good.

So that’s The Ventriloquist in the Léonard-Beaulne Studio at the University of Ottawa . And you can call 613-864-3386 for times and tickets.

Opening Night Jitters

2008-04-23T09:18:00.000-04:00

Hello Friends!

Today is a very exciting day for us at Evolution Theatre. Not only is our first show of the season, The Ventriloquist, opening tonight at 8pm in the Studio Léonard-Beaulne at the University of Ottawa, but we are also priveledge to be holding the Ottawa English language premiere.

The show runs approximately 1 hour and 10 minutes with no intermission. After the show, we will be heading over to the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin Street) to celebrate.

We would be incredibly pleased if you could join us at either venue. However, if you can't make it, there are still plenty of opportunities for you to check out the show.

We can't wait to see you there!

Nancy Kenny
Director of Communications
Evolution Theatre

Evolution Theatre's first show of the season, Larry Tremblay's The Ventriloquist, runs from April 23rd to April 27th and April 30th to May 3rd at 8pm at the Studio Léonard-Beaulne at the University of Ottawa. There is also a 3pm matinee on May 3rd.

Tickets are $15 for adults / $10 students and seniors
CASH only at the door or in advance at the Oz Kafé (361 Elgin Street).

Reserve your spot via email: reservations@evolutiontheatre.ca or by calling 613-864-3386

This show contains mature themes and subject matters and may not be suitable for all audiences.

Sometimes There Is No Other Shoe

2008-03-10T10:40:00.006-04:00

So you want to start a theatre company?

I've been wondering for a while how I was going to approach this topic.

At first, I wanted to say it's actually quite easy, and technically it is. Just grab some friends, a show, a venue and name your group something. BLAMMO! Insta-theatre company. And if that's all you really want to do, that's all you need.

But once you start realizing that you want to make something out of this company, that you not only want it to stay afloat, when so many of its predecessors have disappeared from the limelight, you actually want it to succeed, well that's when you have to start treating it like a business. And that's when things should start getting hard.

At least, that's what I thought. But the truth of the matter is, I've never taken on a project that has been this easy in my entire life.

For those of you who may not know, along with two other friends, I've started a theatre company called Evolution Theatre. (Feel free to look up our origins there since I won't go into it here.)

Now to be fair, starting and running a theatre company takes a lot of work. I just don't happen to think it's very difficult work (or maybe I actually like the work so much that I don't consider it difficult?). However, I have never been a part of something that has run so smoothly before.

We want sponsors? We got 'em! We want a logo and show posters? Here comes an amazing graphic designer! We want to organize a successful season launch with members of the media and theatre VIPs? Done!
(I've got Roy Orbison's Anything You Want running through my head right now.)

It's funny, I have this feeling inside me that what we are doing is just meant to be and that's why it has been so simple. Sure there's been a few hicups here and there, but nothing we couldn't manage.

What's even funnier is that my usual instinct in these types of situations when things are going right would be to expect something to go wrong, to expect for that proverbial "other shoe" to drop. And you know what happens when you wait for that other shoe? It usually does - not to mention you also let all the really great stuff in your life pass you by as you waited for it to do so.

So, as of this moment (or maybe as of a few weeks ago when I thought about this), there is no other shoe. From now on, I walk around on one foot.

...

Metaphorically speaking, of course.

...

Am I even making any sense?

Learning to Say No

2008-02-28T14:32:00.003-05:00

Sometimes I think I'm Superman(girl?). I'm strong and fast, I can do it all and still have a healthy dinner ready, my laundry folded, and my taxes done.
Sometimes I am also incredibly insecure. I don't think I'm good enough as an actor, that any work I get is out of pure luck, and that my last gig really was my last.

A combination of these two factors has made it so that, in the last three years, I've tackled almost every audition that came my way and worked on any and every project that would have me.

A few burnouts and some mild cases of depression later, I've realized that maybe, just maybe, that was not the best way to manage my career and my life.

In the last week or so, I've actually turned down not one but two opportunities to audition for some really great theatre companies in town; two companies that on any given day I would probably kill for (or at the very least, bake banana bread for).
The timing of their shows, however, just doesn't work out with stuff that I either already have on the go or plan on having on the go.

Saying "No" wasn't easy. It took me two days of soul searching for each company before I came to a decision and acknowledging that though I'm not so insecure, I'm also not superhuman. However, in the long run, I know that this decision is the best for me at this moment in my life. And that's what really matters.

Thank You, Mr. Wilson

2008-02-27T20:38:00.002-05:00

So you smile and you shrug and you brush it all off with a "Whatever" whenever anyone asks you about the outcome of that "big audition" you know, the one that could have changed your whole life had you nailed it.
And you pretend that it doesn't matter that you worked the hardest that you had ever worked before on any given piece or that you left a little piece of your tiny naked and vulnerable soul behind in a room where two strangers got final say on your artistic capabilities.
After all, it just means something better is on the horizon, right?
And you giggle convincingly when you say that because you're a damn good actor, even if you do say so yourself.
And you try not to doubt yourself or get too sad about it because you've been reading up on the Laws of Attraction and, well, you don't need more doubt and more sad in your life.
And then chance or faith or divine intervention, even, drops a discount movie theatre in front of you. And you think what's the harm in taking a peak at what's playing?
And amongst the crap from Martin Lawrence and the animated schlock from Jerry Seinfeld, you see them: Forest Gump staring at a Pretty Woman in a bad wig no less, while Truman Capote, wearing chops most guys I know would kill for, watches on.
And you think, what the heck, I've got time. So you buy your ticket and some popcorn and you hope they don't notice the pop you're smuggling in your bag and you walk in.
In a dark theatre you have almost all to yourself (which is your idea of heaven, by the way), after only five minutes in, you've already forgotten about the kernels that are lodging themselves in your braces because you are so incredibly captivated by what's going on in front of you.
You realize that escapism doesn't have to be dumb or dumb you down, that millions of dollars actually can be spent on a legitimate piece of art and that yes even you can fall in love with the guy from Joe vs the Volcano... even for just a little while.
As you file out of the theatre, you realize that what you just saw is the reason you keep picking up the pieces after every imagined heartbreak and carry on to do it all over again on another day. You realize that you are alive and hopeful because you know that one day someone will be blogging about you and that movie they saw you in that made them go Woah.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a script to go write... right after I file my taxes.

Winning my Oscar Pool (or I Can Spot a Loser from a Mile Away)

2008-02-25T12:47:00.002-05:00

I just found out this morning that I won my Oscar Pool by guessing all answers in every category correctly. The twist to this pool though was that you had to pick a show/person from each category who would NOT win.

My method? Well it was very scientific, based on socio-political trends in the movie business, as well as extensive research into the voting habits of Academy members for the last 80 years. I also factored in box office receipts for each film, multiplied that by the average salary of the people involved (go go IMDB Pro) and divided by the number of nominees in each category.

Or I just randomly clicked on stuff and prayed that if there was a God He/She/It would not let a travesty like Norbit get any kind of legitimate artistic approval.

My prize for winning? A 275$ acting course with Sears and Switzer.

Go me!

Thoughts Post Stratford Audition

2008-02-25T12:38:00.005-05:00

I wrote these thoughts after my audition last Tuesday while waiting for the train to take me back to Ottawa. Call backs are being held on March 3rd and I haven't heard anything back.

Ah well!

******************************
First of all, Martha Henry is a beautiful woman. I could see her being Governor General one day. She looks like your kindly grandmother who could spend an afternoon with you baking cookies and yet tell you naughty stories about her life when your mom wasn't in the room. There's an aura about her that lets you know she has really lived her life and has nothing to prove to anyone. It was incredibly comforting to walk into a room with her (at least I thought so - I can't speak for others who auditioned).

I don't want to over analyze my audition (it's over and done with afterall), but I did realize a few things. At times I definitely rushed, and pushed, and "acted" really hard. Ms. Henry noticed this, of course, and redirected me. She told me to just stand there in th emiddle of the room and talk to her. When I did, it felt like magic.

I can't believe how much I learned from a simple audition that barely spanned five minutes, but if I have to take anything away from it, it's the realization that I still have a tremendous amount to learn. And that's not a bad thing.

All in all, I had fun and I know that, whatever may come along down the road, I'm looking forward to it.

In the Shower with the Bard

2008-02-14T13:54:00.004-05:00

Thank you everyone for your wonderful suggestions! I have finally decided on a second monologue. I will be doing one of Desdemona's speeches from Othello. I've basically chosen this one because it offers a lot of vulnerability compared to the fierce passion I see in Adrianna from Comedy of Errors.

Now, I've been memorizing my lines and going over my speeches. Personally, I find the shower to be the best spot to go over lines since it's a relaxing environment that offers very little outside distractions (that is until you start thinking about Kris Joseph, and really, why would you want to do that in the shower of all places?)

Anyway, the shower is great, especially when you live alone, because then no one is knocking at the door wondering who Antipholus is and why he's in the shower with you.

On Saturday, I'm getting some personal coaching to help guide me through my pieces and I'm really looking forward to that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to figure out a way to read my pages copied off the first folio text without getting them wet.

In Bed with the Bard

2008-02-13T11:17:00.003-05:00

I have a pretty big audition coming up for a pretty prominent Shakespeare Festival in Canada (though I won't go into details, it rhymes with Ratford).

For this audition, I have to prepare two contrasting speeches from Shakespeare. Now one speech is not a problem. I have a monologue I have been using for a few years now from Comedy of Errors.

When it came to choosing a second monologue, I have been soliciting advice from people I know who are familiar with the works of the bard. This little activity has made me realize one thing: I am not one who is very familiar with the works of the Bard.

You see, the important thing when doing a monologue is to be well-versed in the play itself so that you may more adequately capture the necessary nuances. That said, when I started going thorugh the list of Shakespearian plays (there are 37 in total... arguably) I had actually seen or read, the list was quite small:

Tragedies
Romeo and Juliet
Hamlet
Julius Caesar
Macbeth
Othello
King Lear

Histories
King John
Richard III

Comedies
The Comedy of Errors
A Midsummer Night's Dream
Measure for Measure
Twelfth Night

Damn! I haven't even read half of his plays...

Needless to say, my second monologue is coming from this short list.

Parking Expenses

2008-02-07T09:44:00.001-05:00

Here's my solution to avoid paying hefty parking fees when coming to the downtown core:

TAKE THE BUS!

Plateau/Moving Up the Ladder

2008-02-05T14:29:00.000-05:00

Well Jigsaw finished this past Saturday to a sold-out crowd (it was so sold out that our front of house volunteers didn't get to see it, due to a lack of seats). I had a lot of fun with the company (Toto Too) and I recommend them to anyone interested in doing theatre. They are incredibly well-organized! I also know that I did some good work on the show.

That said, it is time for me to move away from community theatre. I've done so much of it in the past couple of years, and it has taught me alot, but I truly believe it is time for me to slide into the next level of my acting career.

I also have to start putting value to my talent which means I won't be doing any free theatre anymore.

Now the trick is finding someone who'd be willing to pay me.

Acting is Dying

2008-02-01T11:22:00.000-05:00

His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
What he wrote down, the whole crowd grows so loud
He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out
He's chokin, how everybody's jokin now
The clock's run out, time's up over, bloah!
- Lose Yourself, Eminem

You'd think it gets easier after a while. After all, this isn't your first time on stage. You know your lines like the back of your hand. You're in costume, your hair and make-up is done right. Everyone is wishing you to "Break a leg" and "Have a great show". Everyone wants you to succeed.

But still, it happens. You start sweating so profusely, you wish you had a hair dryer to fend off the massive stains forming on your costume shirt. Your mouth is pasty, your throat is drying up, and your nose starts running like it was training for an Olympic dash. Your hands are shaking and you try and remember when was the last time you let out a breath. You may feel nautious, gassy, bloated, in need of an Immodium, or any combination thereof (according to a few commercials, Pepto Bismal will take care of all those at once). Someone yells, "Places!" and you desperately want to go pee, even though you've been to the bathroom three times already. You think you hear someone you know out in the audience, maybe you even get a chance to sneak a peak, and you wonder why did they have to pick tonight of all nights, when your body is about to collapse in on itself, to come and see the show. You begin to think that having an understudy may not be such a bad thing after all.

The lights dim, the music swells, you think you're about to die... and suddenly you find comfort in the fact that if you had to choose one way in which to leave this world, dying gloriously on stage would be the way to do it.

You walk out and suddenly you don't feel so sick anymore...

**********************************

If I ever stop feeling this agonising torture before performing, no matter what the show or the venue, I know it will be time to move on to another career.

Remember Kids, Acting Is Fun!

2008-01-16T11:46:00.000-05:00

I'm working on a play right now (buy your tickets soon because they are flying off the virtual shelves!), which is great, but for the past couple of rehearsals, I've been a bit of a, shall we say, a grumpy gus. A variety of factors contributed to this sentiment, I'm sure (crappy weather, bad day at work, PMS, resistance, drama, ect.), but I should have been professional enough to leave all that at the door. Because you know what? Every weeknight during the month of January, I get to go and play! Why the hell would I want to be grumpy about that?

So, I made a conscious decision before last Monday's rehearsal to just go and have fun. And you know what? I have been! Rehearsals have never been better and I'm really looking forward to moving into Arts Court at the end of the month.

I guess I still had stuff to learn from community theatre after all.

2008 - The Year of Travel

2008-01-08T11:37:00.000-05:00

In my previous post, I mentioned that I had a lot of resolutions for the year. One of those resolutions (number 7 to be precise) involve travelling abroad, something I have never done before.

This desire presented itself strongly over the holidays when I noticed how small people try and make the world. They like to restrict it to a more manageable size, usually along the lines of their own backyard, and purposefully forget that there is anything else out there. I didn't want to be like that. I wanted to see more, to do more, to learn more, about the world I live in.

And this year is the year I'm going to do it.

Unfortunately, travelling is expensive. That said, I've always dreamed of having an acting gig that would take me to far away and exotic places. I would see movies being shot in Prague or Iceland or New Zealand and I would think, one day that will be me. Well, the closest thing to working on set in a foreign country has presented itself to me. Yesterday, I found out that the playwright for the show I'm working on has been invited to present it at a theatre festival in Ireland this May. He was asked if he had a company that would be willing to come over and present it. He, of course, quickly came to Toto Too and asked them if there would be interest. Well, the interest is definitely there. The next issue now becomes that of funding, but that's for others to look into. The main thing is there is a very strong possibility that I will actually get my opportunity to travel abroad this year, which is incredible.

And if that doesn't work out, I still promised this guy I'd be visiting him in Japan before the end of the year...

The Daily Grind

2008-01-08T11:23:00.000-05:00

The holidays are officially over and we now return to our regularly scheduled programming. Unfortunately, I was back at work even before the new year, but even then (especially then?), I've found it very hard to get back into the daily grind.

I've made a lot of resolutions this year. My list is now at 15 or so and they involve a variety of things from physical activity, language skills, travel, writing, producing, music, and the arts in general. Not a single one of those resolutions involves working at a desk from 9 to 5 and yet what am I doing right now? I'm working at my desk from 9 to 5.

It's a necessary evil, I suppose. I have a mortgage and bills to pay. But there has got to be some kind of alternative. There just has to be!

I just wish I knew what it was.

Big News!

2007-12-05T16:45:00.000-05:00

My agent just called me to let me know that I booked a web ad for the Bank of Canada. This is awesome on so many levels. First of all, it means that I will be getting my second ACTRA Apprentice credit (though it sucks how the permit fees have doubled). Second of all, they want me to do the French version of the ad as well which strongly suggests that I may be getting my first credit for l'Union des artistes. And finally, it means that I will be getting some extra spending money for Christmas gifts.

I'm thinking I may be starting with a gift to me from me though. My new place would look great with one of those wall-mounted TVs. ;)

Looking Forward

2007-12-05T10:20:00.000-05:00

It's been a busy past couple of weeks. I finished up the show I did with NORT and then stage managed Breathing Time Productions night of one act plays. On top of that, I've been busy with rehearsals for Toto Too's Jigsaw Confession in January and finishing up a marketing course at Algonquin College (I actually have an exam next week, eep!).

Of coursee, during all this time, I was also going through the motions of purchasing my first home and, as of this weekend, I am finally moved in. It will be beautiful once I'm finally unpacked.

But that, dear friends, is not the extent of my news.

You see, over the past couple of weeks/months, I have been working with two other colleagues to found our own theatre company. As of last week, the incorporation papers have gone through and it is official: Evolution Theatre is now a legal entity.

Yes, I am a founding member of a new theatre company in Ottawa and I want you all to hear about it and spread the word.

We have our season and venues (mostly) set up for next year (I say mostly because tonight's Fringe Lottery will determine where our summer show will take place). General auditions will be taking place on January 12, 2008 - location TBD. I encourage everyone to come out, even if you are a member of the Canadian Actor's Equity Association. Depending on our funding situation, we might still be able to use you.

Though all this information will be blitzed around town in the coming weeks (we have our first BOD tonight, actually), I thought I'd let my friends in on the ground floor. So without further ado, here is Evolution Theatre's upcoming season of contemporary canadian theatre, including one Ottawa premiere:

The Ventriloquist by Larry Tremblay (April in the Studio Leonard Beaulne)
This Is A Play by Daniel McIvor (June during the Ottawa Fringe Festival)
The Diswashers by Morris Panych (September in Academic Hall)

If you are interested in auditioning for us, please send your resume and headshot to evolutiontheatre@gmail.com (our proper email address will be going up with the launch of our new website, so the gmail account will do for now).

We will also be looking at holding a kind of actor's gym in January as an opportunity to see new talent and play around with some scenes. If you're interested in participating, you can email us about that too.

I'll be frequently posting about what's going on with the company here, so check back often. I may even be starting a new blog about it - So you want to start a theatre comapny :p

HELP! I Need Some Bodies

2007-11-21T14:12:00.000-05:00

On November 30th, I take possession of my very first home. It's an exciting time and I can't wait to finally be settled into my new domain. Unfortunately, the getting settled part is proving to be a tad difficult. Lots of people who've mentioned they might be able to give me a hand are now unable to do so.

Basically, I need a few able-bodied people on December 1st at 8am sharp to help me load up the rental van and unload it all before 12pm when I have to return it. The van is simply for my big furniture (bed, dresser, bookshelf and such). I have a friend bringing her minivan so any smaller boxes that we might not have had a chance to collect withint that time frame can always be picked up a little later.

If you can lend a hand, I can promise you food, drinks and museum tickets. Plus you'll automatically go to the top of my list when I get free movie/play tickets (which is fairly often). Please msg if you can help.

Jason Bateman Is My Hero

2007-11-16T11:12:00.000-05:00

Jason Bateman, more recently of Arrested Development fame, had this to say about his acting career which I found pretty damn inspirational. I think a lot of semi-famous actors today could take a page out of his book (from the Ottawa Citizen article which I'm sure people are starting to think I read too much of):

"I'm just trying not to screw it up," he says, and that means knowing his place in the hierarchy and taking smaller roles in better films.

He wants to be a supporting player with big stars, the people he calls "the cool kids:" actors like Jennifer Garner and Jamie Foxx (from The Kingdom), or Brad Pitt, Edward Norton, and Helen Mirren (from State of Play, an upcoming film in which he plays a bisexual sex club promoter), or Will Smith and Charlize Theron (from John Hancock, which he just finished.)

"Any movie I'm offered the lead of right now is a pretty stinky movie," he says.

"The films I'm offered to do, where I'm the lead, are not great scripts. The films I'm offered to do where I'm third or fourth down on the call sheets, they're pretty good films, because numbers one, two and three on the call sheet are great actors, so they have consequently attracted a great director."

He's even willing to play second banana in a movie that was his own idea: an action comedy called The Remarkable Fellows about two "revenge specialists" who hire themselves out to rich people who want to pay back their enemies. He calls it Dirty Rotten Scoundrels meets The Bourne Identity, and he plans to play No. 2 brother, "and some great big huge guy will be the star. A cool kid."

More Municipal News

2007-11-16T10:17:00.000-05:00

Wow, I'm on a bit of a roll this week. Today I want to talk about the plans for a new Ottawa Congress Centre.

Right now, for convention capacity, Ottawa is currently on par with Red Deer and Moncton. I don't know about everyone else, but I find that unacceptable for our nation's capital. The tear down and buildup of a new congress centre would now have is competing with Winnipeg and Quebec City instead. It's not ideal, but it's a lot better. Not to mention the fact that the current concrete eyesore attached to the Rideau Centre would blossom into a beautiful glass structure worthy of flanking the Rideau Canal.

The provincial and federal governments have already approved an increase in their initial funding for the project from 30 to 50 million dollars each. They expect the city to cough up an extra 15 million and some councillors, seeing how we are in a budget crunch, are hesitant.

I get that. There a proposed cuts on the table and you'd rather keep those services than give money to a convention centre. Problem is this is not a problem that will go away and it will simply cost more money in the future if the city doesn't deal with it now. Plus, even though the city might not be getting a lot of money back from the centre, the boom it will create to the tourism industry (and all other related entertainment industries) is undeniable.

Seriously, just increase my damn taxes already.

Go Go Gatineau

2007-11-15T10:36:00.000-05:00

As an addendum to my post about the City of Ottawa Budget, the City of Gatineau is planning a tax increase.

I love the quotes from the Gatineau Mayor:

"Mayor Marc Bureau said Gatineau council rejected Ottawa Mayor Larry O'Brien's goal of a tax freeze because taxpayers would object to any cut in municipal services... 'It is impossible for our city to have a zero-per-cent tax increase and we don't want to do that," Mr. Bureau said. "When I ran for mayor, I never promised that.'"

So whereas Ottawa is planning on cutting out libraries, Gatineau is adding seven. Whereas Ottawa is cutting arts funding, Gatineau is opening a municipal art gallery. Whereas Ottawa is cutting public transit, Gatineau is working on the Rapibus, it's new bus transitway. And whereas Ottawa is cutting recreational services, Gatineau is building a bicycle track.

Oh and they are also experiencing a surplus instead of a deficit.

Almost makes you want to move. Almost.

Increase My Taxes

2007-11-15T09:56:00.001-05:00

The Citizen today has put forward a list of budget cuts that the city will looking at implement over the next year so they can achieve the mayor's incredibly ridiculous "Zero means zero" promise.

Three things are important to me in this city (the arts, efficient public transportation, and the environment) and those are three areas that are going to get hit up the most. I've posted the list below, placing in bold the cuts that irk me the most, although alot of the recreation and health services cuts are pretty bad too. I put some of my comments in italics.

As someone who will soon own property and will therefore be paying taxes to the city, all I have to say is that I want you to increase my taxes if it means keeping the things below.

Feel free to argue with me below.

Oh and on one last note, I voted for the other guy.

************************************************************

Options Contained in the 2008 Draft Budget

User fee increases

- Adult ice time: $165.75 per hour to $210 per hour

- Children's ice time: $116.75 per hour to $210 per hour

- Transit fares increase by five per cent Always with the transit fare hikes. How long before it's cheaper to own a car?

- Playing field rental increase by 100 per cent

- Hike parking fees to $3 per hour Uh, never mind my car comment then.

- Charge for parking on weekends

- Charge for parking in Westboro, Old Ottawa South, Hintonburg, and Beechwood

- Extend paid parking hours to 9 p.m.

Program elimination and deferrals

- Eliminate business transformation project ($3 million)

- Defer arts investments ($400,000) sigh

- Defer museum investments ($680,000)

- Defer funding to community groups ($500,000)

- Cancel five new ambulances for rural areas ($275,000)

- Eliminate stepped up graffiti removal program ($1.5 million)

- Terminate use of biodiesel in city vehicles ($1.9 million)

-Eliminate tree care program ($970,000)

- Defer planned west end fire station

- Defer planned west end library

- Defer Kanata north recreation centre

- Defer new rink in Goulbourn ($460,000)

- Defer building new wading pools ($730,000)

- Cancel hiring eight public health nurses for schools ($660,000)

- Reduce bus service on eight routes ($1.3 million)

- Cancel transit improvements ($2.2 million) I thought transit was suppose to be a priority.

- Cancel resources for road and sidewalk maintenance in new areas ($2.35 million)

- Cancel resources for traffic and parking operations in new areas ($840,000)

- Chop the protocol office by 50 per cent ($220,000)

- Eliminate web-casting of council meetings ($55,000)

- Reduce arts, heritage and festival funding by $130,000 Surprise, surprise.

- Reduce funding to social agencies by $340,000

- Reduce community association funding by $570,000

- Close Vernon, Osgoode, Fitzroy Harbour, Vanier, North Gower, Blackburn Hamlet, Munster, Elmvale Acres, Centennial, and Rosemount library branches ($2.1 million)

- Close nine wading pools ($295,000)

- Close Terry Fox Athletic Facility ($125,000)

- Reduce outdoor rinks grants ($620,000)

- Close Corkstown and Katimavik outdoor pools ($135,000)

- Close indoor skate parks in Stittsville and downtown ($65,000)

- Close 23 community centres ($1.2 million)

- Reduce economic development programs ($210,000) I don't know what this is.

-Eliminate underperforming bus routes ($3.9 million)

- Reduce tree and shrub trimming and grass cutting ($2 million)

- Cancel spring and fall cleaning programs ($110,000) Are you kidding me?

- Reduce snow plowing on roads and sidewalks ($5.1 million) This will reduce mobility and probably cause more trouble than anything else once the storms start hitting.

- Eliminate road and sidewalk sweeping ($600,000) Have they seen the sidewalk on Montreal road? It needs to be swept every day.

- Reduce litter pickup ($550,000) There is also probably going to be a cancellation of the Green Box Program for compostable waste.

What Am I Allowed to Do? - An Introduction to Reciprocal Agreements

2007-11-07T11:31:00.000-05:00

You've heard all the statistics. You are aware that it is incredibly difficult to make a living as an actor and yet, you just can't seem to stay away. Then that fateful day comes when are granted the opportunity to join an actor's union and you simply can't resist. You take the plunge and decide that you are going to become a professional actor. Congratulations!

But what does it all mean? Well, other than the fact you are now certifiably insane, it means quite a few things actually.

I'm not going to talk about how you go about to join a union because the union websites contain a wealth of information (if you just do a little digging you, lazy bum - I've even linked them for you) to lead you to that point. I also will not discuss the pros and cons of joining a union because that is a personal decision that you should approach when you are ready. However, I will let you all in on a few tidbits I have picked up along the way about how the unions interact with each other. That said, this information should be taken with a grain of salt since I am no expert and rules can change. If you want clarification or confirmation on anything I write below, you'd best contact the numbers I have attached at the bottom of this note. You can also feel free to supplement any additional information in the comment section.

In the meantime though, please go ahead and bookmark this page, grab some coffee and hold on to your mouse, we are in for a bumpy ride.

First things first, what is a union?
Well, head on over to Wikipedia for a little extended reading on the subject. The first two paragraphs really sum it up nicely.

What unions actually affect actors?
Well, in Canada there currently are four(!) different actor's unions: the Alliance of Canadian Cinema, Television and Radio Artists (or ACTRA); the Canadian Actor's Equity Association (CAEA or Equity); l'Union des artistes (UdA); and the Union of BC Performer's (or UBCP) - this last one, as it's title implies, is only for actors working in British Columbia. Since I don't live there, I really don't know much about it and won't be mentioning it anymore.

So if you are an actor who lives in Ottawa (like me), you may be affected by up to three different unions, depending on the medium and the language you decide to work in.

The basic identities of each union can be summarized as follows (although there are exceptions in every case so you should always check just to be sure):
ACTRA - English language work in film, television, radio and any other form of media, new and old.
Equity - Any live performances in English, including (but not limited to) theatre, opera, concerts, musicals and ballets.
UdA - A conglomeration of ACTRA and Equity within the French language.

Ok, so if I decide to join one union, I don't need to worry about the others right? WRONG!

Each union has a series of agreements with each other and, depending on your status with the union, you are bound by these regulations.

Here's what I have found out about how it works:

ACTRA and Equity
If you are an ACTRA Apprentice, you are not allowed to do any non-union films. You can, however, still do non-union theatre productions. If you are a full ACTRA member, you are not allowed to do any non-union films AND any non-union theatre. If you are offered a role in a play you must contact your local EQUITY branch office and ask about joining.
If you are an Equity Apprentice, you are still allowed to do any non-union projects you want, film or theatre. Equity does not yet consider you a professional at this stage and so neither will ACTRA. If you are a full Equity member, you are not allowed to do any non-union films. If you are offered a role in a film you must contact your local ACTRA branch office and ask about joining.

Equity and UdA
If you are a member of either union, you are allowed to work on up to three (3) contracts per year in the other jurisdiction without being forced to join the other union. However, you can call the branch office and join at any time after purchasing your work permit if you so desire.

UdA and ACTRA
These unions DO NOT have a reciprocal agreement. If you are a member of ACTRA (full or Apprentice), you are allowed to do non-union work in French. Don't believe me? Then you can call the UdA office in Montreal just like I did and asked. The reverse is also true. If you are a member of UdA (full or stagiaire), you are allowed to do non-union work (in film anyway, since stage falls under Equity) in English.

I hope this helps clarify a few things for everyone. I have carefully looked up all the information I have posted here, either through phone calls or online research. If you would like to know specifically where I got everything, feel free to ask and I will send you links to some hefty reading material. Or, you can always call the following numbers:

ACTRA Ottawa - 613 565-2168 / ottawa@actra.ca
National Equity Office - 416 867-9165 / info@caea.com
UdA Montreal Branch - 514 288-6682 / endirect@uniondesartistes.com

F'n Writer's Block

2007-11-06T18:20:00.000-05:00

I joined a playwrighting workshop a little while ago to help increase my skill level as a writer and motivate me to keep going. Since the workshop is on Thursdays, I would take the time before my Tuesday class in Marketing at Algonquin College to write a few pages of "homework". This new play I was working on was coming along pretty nicely until a few weeks ago when Family Matters took up most of my time.

Now, as I sit here in this empty classroom, I seem to have lost my groove. I can't think of what I want to write next. I'm fucking stuck and it sucks.

So I take some time now to jot how I'm feeling on my blog in the hopes that it will open up those creative juices that have suddenly stopped flowing.

...

So far, no such luck.

I Don't Know How to Talk to You

2007-11-06T16:02:00.001-05:00

I'm always grateful when friends and family come and see a show I'm in. It is wonderful to have all their support (especially when the show I'm in is a profit-share endeavor :p) I also think it's great when said friends and family want to stick around after the show to talk to me and the other actors.

The problem is, I don't know how to talk back.

You see, what I REALLY want to hear is that you loved the show and thought I was superb, which is what most people who stick around do. Unfortunately, most of the time, I may think that you are actually saying that because you want to be nice after a show.

However, if you stick around and say nothing about the show (or say the fallback "congratulations" or talk about sets and/or costumes), then I begin to wonder if you hated it. So I awkwardly stand there, desperately wanting to ask you what you thought, but I don't because I don't want to put you on the spot and/or make you feel like you "need" to say something nice. In which case, I forced the pleasantries out of you and that's not very pleasant.

So, if I happen to be fidgety after a performance when you have so graciously stuck around to speak to me, it's simply because I'm coming off a post-show high and I don't know how to deal with you in the real world yet.

BUT! Don't stop sticking around after a show just because I so desperately acted like putting my costume away was the most IMPORTANT thing in the world. Because if I knew you were there and you leave quickly after the curtain call, I start wondering what the hell was so wrong about my performance (and not, you know, that your meter might be running out, because after all the world seems to revolve around me) that you had to leave in a huff.

I believe this is why actors drink after shows.

Another Season, Another Show

2007-10-23T11:37:00.000-04:00

Hey folks, here is some info on the show I'm in. It opens tomorrow night and I would love to see you there!

New Ottawa Repertory Theatre presents Family Matters
written by Paul Dervis

In its first play of the season, New Ottawa Repertory Theatre, in co-operation with Saw Video, presents Paul Dervis’ FAMILY MATTERS, at Club Saw, October 24-28, October 31-November 4, 8:00 pm .

The actions of one person can affect family members over generations. Family Matters, in three connected episodes, shows us how the sins of the father are laid at the feet of all the members of his family over a 30-year period.

Paul Dervis is renowned for his ability to catch not only people’s words, but the unsaid thoughts behind them. Arthur Friedman (Boston Herald) said of Family Matters, “Dervis has a remarkable ear for dialogue.”; Dennis Armstrong ( Ottawa Sun) says “he has an ear that just doesn't hear dialogue but records and amplifies it in all it's humour, colour and power”;

Paul Dervis has been a professional playwright and director for 24 years. His plays have won accolades and awards: Family Matters was a hit at the Atlantic Fringe Festival, On Any Monday Night, was accorded Best Plays of 2000. He also wrote Pokey, At Water’s Edge, Last Disciple of Abraham, and Manhattan Je Vous Dis.

New Ottawa Repertory Theatre (NORT) is a theatre lab, whose goal is to explore new plays with actors who seek to develop their skills in a repertory environment. As one critic has said, “If there's one thing you can count on from the New Ottawa Repertory Theatre, it's that no one -- neither the characters nor the audience members watching -- will come out the same as when they went in.”

This is NORT’s seventh season of producing excellent drama and dark comedy – in our last season, we played to sell-out audiences, and appreciative notices: Race “…burns with real passion and conviction”, Ottawa Sun; “...is a relevant engaging production,” Ottawa Citizen. Last Disciple of Abraham “… very good performances,... held my attention”, Alvina Ruprecht, CBC.

FAMILY MATTERS runs October 24-28, October 31-November 4, 8:00 pm., at Club Saw, (Arts Court), 67 Nicholas Ave. Tickets $15 ($10, students) are available at the door. For further information or reservations, call 613-231-7562, or visit http://nort.ncf.ca.

Fear

2007-10-17T12:44:00.000-04:00

Fear - it's been on my mind for a while now. I've been avoiding posting about it or even talking about it out loud because to talk about it would be to confront it and, well, that's just plain scary.

Many people have a fear of failure. I am not one of those people. I can deal with criticism and rejection - just look at the field I've chosen to undertake as a career - in fact, I almost anticipate it.

No, I've discovered that what I have is a fear of success.

It almost sounds silly, right? I mean, who doesn't want to be successful?

I've realized something that my subconscious has known for a long time: If I fail at something, nothing in my life will change. I can just go back to my regular routine and everything will continue humming along like normal. But if I actually succeed at something, things begin to change.

For instance, human beings (myself included) are jealous people who all seem to be following this mantra of mediocrity. We have all silently agreed to be miserable together and it bothers us if someone else is experiencing any level of success and happiness (the "why you and not me" syndrome).

Reason one behind my fear of success: If I succeed, people won't like me anymore. What's that saying? It's lonely at the top.

How does this fear manifest itself? For one thing, I can't take compliments, especially if I feel like it's at the expense of other people. Throughout rehearsals, I've been getting some really great feedback, but others in the cast have not as much. This makes me feel singled out and wonder if people hate me for doing so well. This then can lead to self-sabotage were you try to do worse so you still feel included and part of the group. By Jove, I think I just discovered the reason I've been having so much trouble sitting down to go over my lines.

Wow, just writing that I see how silly it seems and yet, there it is.

To succeed at something, you have to work hard. This means you can't be complacent and you have to take yourself out of your comfort zone. However, basic physics reminds me that although a body in motion will stay in motion, a body at rest wants to keep her ass parked in front of the TV (I may be paraphrasing Newton a bit).

Unfortunately, if I want to succeed, I have to do it myself (check mark number two for the being lonely). I can't be lazy anymore waiting for something to happen to me to get me moving.

How does this manifest itself? I avoid creating my own work because I want someone to do it for me, put me in their show, to make me feel special.

Also slightly contrary to what I first mentioned, human beings look up to successful people. That said, the more people look up to you, the higher you are, the harder the fall is on your way down to disappointing them.

How does this manifest itself? I know I have a lot of knowledge about this business that I could share with other people. I've been avoiding contacting acting schools to teach because a voice in my head keeps telling me "who are you to think you can do that? what the hell do you know? you're just a fraud and anyone you teach will be disappointed"

Stupid voice.

Finally, success can also bring, sometimes radical, changes. I know that if I continue auditioning for stuff, I will eventually have to leave my job, but I am addicted to the safety and security a steady pay check affords. This means that I don't push as hard or I don't risk as much as I could because I don't want to lose my ~~job~~ paycheck/health benefits even though I realize the possibility that I could be making a lot more money if I were successful.

So, yes, I have a fear of success. The first step is always admitting it. Now could anyone please tell me what the second step is?

My Braces Are Gone! (or Sometimes Acting Can Be Weird)

2007-10-15T14:10:00.001-04:00

I had my first read for a show with Toto Too Theatre last night. I was told that they would also want to get the publicity photos for the poster and website out of the way as soon as we showed up.

In the play, I'm engaged to this other guy and they told me that they would want a photo of the two of us together.

The thing is, I'd never met this guy before.

So, as soon as he walked in the door, I was quickly introduced before being shuffled off for a picture with my arms around a strange man.

Uh ok.

The funniest part was once the pictures were done, my "fiancé" asked me what my name was again.

Oh and the digital age is a wonderful thing. You can see the results of the photo shoot on the Toto Too website here. The amazing designer even managed to remove my braces from the picture! Nice!

Just Keep Telling Yourself That...

2007-10-10T14:30:00.001-04:00

Everything happens for a reason.

I have a conflict.

I can't "audition" (in brackets because it's more of a look over than a real audition) for a stand-in gig because the shoot overlaps with the play I'm in.

Where were all these auditions last year when I wasn't working?

On Roller Coasters, Security Blankets and How the Mountain Won't Come to Mohamed

2007-10-09T13:24:00.001-04:00

I don't like roller coasters. They scare me.

They're big; they're loud; they go too fast; and just when you think you've gotten used to the ride, they take a sharp drop or turn and leave you upside down and feeling helpless.

There's a metaphor for my life in there.

***************************************
When I was a baby, like most kids my age, I had a security blanket. When I was growing up, I spent a lot of summers/holidays at my grandma's house or with aunts and uncles. Everywhere I went during those days, I would bring my pillow with me; my little reminder of the comforts of home. Nowadays, I have my teddy bear (yes, you heard me, I am a grown woman with a plush bear who comes from The Bay).

My whole life, I have clutched to the concepts of safety and security and I've avoided risks and changes.

Now, there is nothing terribly wrong with wanting to be safe and comfortable, but this inability to take great risks has made it impossible to reap great rewards.

For the longest time, I've avoided pursuing acting work out of town. I wanted to find a gig in town because then I could balance it around my day job. That way I could still guarantee a steady income while pursuing what I love.

The problem is Ottawa doesn't have that many acting gigs.

Sure the number of MOWs shooting in town is on the rise, but they still cast mostly from out-of-town. And sure Third Wall has joined the ranks of professional theatres in Ottawa, but that still only puts us at a whopping four (bonus points if you can name them all). And sure my friends and I have started our own theatre company, but we're still only on the ground floor.

So, if the work won't come to me, I guess it's time for me to go to the work.

No, I'm not talking about moving. I love Ottawa and I want to make it my home base (I've already bought the home anyway), but I can't be afraid of trying out for bigger things anymore. I've avoided sending my resume out to theatre companies in Toronto because it would be impossible to do a show there and still hold down a job here. Not to mention the cost of going down there to audition without the guarantee of work is financially intimidating.

I've got to remember though that I don't want to be chained to a desk for the rest of my life. I want to be one of those people who manages to make a living off their art. I can't let worrying about what my boss would think if I were to take off for a month and a half to do a show prevent me from, at the very least, sending in a resume and a headshot.

So, this past week, I've started making some mailouts to Toronto and the area. Who knows if anything will come of it, but there is nothing gained if you don't try.

Oh and if I do end up going out of town, the bear is coming too.
***************************************

When I actually work up the nerve to go on a roller coaster ride, I find it an exhilarating experience that ends far too quickly and leaves me wondering what I was making such a big fuss about.

There's a metaphor for my life in there.

So You Want To See Me In A Play...

2007-10-03T13:21:00.000-04:00

Oh come on, you know you do!

I mean, how often am I in a play?

...

Uh, anyway, I'm in a show called Family Matters (no relation to the Urkel show of the same name) with the New Ottawa Repertory Company. The show runs from Oct.24-28, Oct.31–Nov.4, 2007, 8 pm in Club Saw at Arts Court. Tickets are usually 15$ (10 for students) but, for all my budget friends out there, I have some 5$ tickets for sale for the 24th and the 25th. Leave me a message if you want some of those. They are only available until next week. I htink I may also get 2 for 1 tickets for the other nights. I will keep you all posted.

Oh and before you ask, Family Matters is a series of three connected one act plays, demonstrating how actions within an extended family can affect family members over generations. So there, Karyn! :p

...

In other news, I've just been cast in another play.

Damn, I Could Have Used the Money

2007-09-26T15:10:00.000-04:00

I got an offer through facebook to do some internet videos for a business company and they were paying very well for what would amount to about two hours of work.

The catch?

I'm union and it's a non-union shoot.

That's a big no-no.

So, instead I passed along the name of one of my favorite non-union actresses. Maybe she'll buy me breakfast again.

Cojones

2007-09-25T11:40:00.000-04:00

You have to have balls in this business (this statement is both literal and figurative - literal in the sense that there are less men in this business and yet more roles created for them - and figurative in the sense of, well, read on...)
I realized this last night as I puzzled over reasons why certain people would get cast in shows and I hadn't even gotten an audition. Those people have balls. They are fearless, or at the very least, put up a good front of fearlessness. Those people are not afraid to walk up to a director and say point blank: "I want to work with you. I want to be in your show."

I realized I don't do this because I don't want to be a bother; I don't want to appear pushy or desperate; I want my talent to stand on its own merit. But you know what? I am pushy and desperate and, in the real world, talent is secondary to who you know. It's all about who you know.

So I have made a conscious decision to stand up for myself (grow a pair, if you will - Eric insert your own joke here) because the worst thing that could happen if I walked up to Peter Hinton today and told him I wanted to be in his next show is that he would say "No" (actually his next show is already cast, but you get the point)

I think I can handle that

Hurricane on the Bayou

2007-09-21T11:02:00.000-04:00

On October 4, the IMAX at the Canadian Museum of Civilization will be releasing its latest offering Hurricane on the Bayou; a pseudo documentary whose selling point is Hurricane Katrina but is really about the wetlands being washed away in Louisinna and how the without them the state really has no protection against hurricanes. I had the priviledge today of checking out an advance screening and I have to say I have never been moved like this by a film in a long time.

When Hurricane Katrina hit, I have to admit that it barely registered with me. It was something that happened far away and didn't impact my life in the slightest. But after watching this film... You know, Cajuns are just cousins of Acadians. The main guy in the film, his last name is Benoit. I know a lot of Benoits back home.

The film followed these musicians, including a 14 year old fiddle prodigy, and how they are using their art to bring awareness to the disappearing wetlands. Their art has purpose and it was beautiful, filled with soul and life. No matter what happened to their homes and their families, they still had this wonderful music that made you just want to dance in the street.

And to see the devastation caused by the hurricane so up close, so in your face, so big on the IMAX screen... well, let's just say I wished I had a plane so I could have flown down there to help out.

If you have a chance to see this movie, which will play well into 2008, don't miss it. I should also be getting four tickets which I will gladly give away to anyone who will use it because I think everyone should see this film.

A Day at my Real Job

2007-09-19T14:26:00.000-04:00

On Monday morning, I woke up at 8am. Considering that I usually get up at 6:30am, this was considered sleeping in. I had breakfast (another unatural occurence since I am usually in a rush) and took a shower (a regular occurence - I like to smell nice). I printed off my resume, attached it to a headshot, and began to fuss over what to wear (thank you global warming). I settled on an outfit I wore for another audition this past weekend, which I thought mixed in the right amount of business with casual. I do my hair and makeup. I checked my backpack for my laptop, my wallet, my bus ticket to Montreal and back, a book, my makeup bag, directions to the audition, my braces paraphenelia, and my house keys. I throw in two copies of my resume headshot, just in case. I also throw in a sweater and a scarf, just in case (thank you global warming). I put the dog in his pen with his peanut butter bomb. I leave the house and head to the greyhound station.
Halfway to the bus stop, I realize I forgot my cellphone and go back.
I leave the house and head to the greyhound station, again.

It was a gorgeous day. While I sat on the bus, on my way to Montreal for an audition, I felt butterflies in my stomach as I realized that I'm an actor and this is part of my job. I am lucky.

The production office for Prank Patrol was only two blocks from the Voyageurs station. I went in knowing that I was suppose to improvise some sort of scene for an episode called "The Audition" where I would be a Casting Director. Easy enough, I happen to have experience in that department. I read over the sign-in sheet: Episode title "The Restaurant", character name The Rat Wrangler.

...

Uh, maybe it's a typo?

No, it's not a typo. I begin to wonder what kind of improv this will involve. I picture myself rolling around on the floor trying to catch rats. I look at the girls around me. They're all wearing flats. I look at my feet. I'm not.

...

It's finally my turn. Whatever, I'm just going to have fun. They ask me about the show. I said I'd never seen it but I looked it up and any show that involves ninjas must be a surefire hit. They liked that. We do an improv where they ask me about the Rat Wrangling business. Words fly out of my ass. Something about growing up on a farm and how moldy cheese and peanut butter are the best kind of training material. I'm having a blast. When they're done asking me questions, there's this stunned silence.

"Did you really grow up on a farm?" the girl behind the table asks.

"Uh, no," I reply.

"Wow, you really had me going there!"

We shake hands and part ways. I grab a bite to eat and head back to the bus station. I'm home by 5:45pm.

I have no idea if I got the part and I'm 75$ poorer than when I first left town. But man, if I could do that every day, I would.

Capital G

2007-09-11T11:30:00.000-04:00

I heard this on the radio this morning and felt the need to share since today is September 11th and all.

Capital G - Nine Inch Nails

I pushed the button and elected elected him to office and uh
He pushed the button and he dropped the bomb
You pushed the button and could watch it on the television
Those motherfuckers didn't last too long

I'm sick of hearing about the "have's" and "have not's"
Have some personal accountability
The biggest problem with the way that we've been doing things is
The more we let you have the less that I'll be keeping for me

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Trading in my god for this one
And he signs his name with a capital G

Don't give a shit about the temperature in Guatemala
Don't really see what all the fuss is about
Ain't gonna worry about no future generations and uh
And I'm sure somebody's gonna figure it out

Don't try to tell me that some power can corrupt a person
You haven't had enough to know what its like
You're only angry 'cause you wish you were in my position
Now nod your head because you know that I'm right... alright!

Well I used to stand for something
But forgot what that could be
There's a lot of me inside you
Maybe you're afraid to see

Well I used to stand for something
Now I'm on my hands and knees
Trading in my god for this one
And he signs his name with a capital G

Back to Basics

2007-09-11T10:56:00.001-04:00

I had an amazing acting class this weekend. It was an introduction to the Meisner Technique with Jacqueline McClintok, an incredibly funny and inspiring woman who was one his last students at The Neighborhood Playhouse in New York.

If you read the book Sanford Meisner on Acting, the first three chapters give you a good idea of the exercises we were doing in class.

All the exercises mostly revolved around the "Repetition Game". Basically, two people sit face-to-face in chairs. One person makes a general observation like "Your shirt is blue" (or "You have curly hair," or "You just shuffled in your seat," ect.), the other person repeats "My shirt is blue," the first person repeats "Your shirt is blue," and so on and so forth until you are told to stop or switch. Then the other person makes an observation.

When I read the book, on paper, it sounded kind of boring. Especially when you realize that people spend weeks doing this one exercise before moving on to anything new. But once you're there, you realize how fascinating it is and how much it strips acting back down to it's basic, most essential elements: Stop thinking, Make it about the other person, Stay in the moment, and Listen!

You should see the great notes I took. It's a shame if you missed out on this amazing course (*cough* Eric *cough*).

Jacquelin is now based in Montreal but she had a wonderful time in Ottawa. Everyone in class was hoping that she would come back again soon, but if not, we may have to make a weekly road trip.

6 months, 2 weeks and 1 day

2007-09-07T15:59:00.000-04:00

That's how long it takes for your deskjob to complete suck the life out of you.

Give or take a day.

R.I.P.

2007-09-06T19:12:00.000-04:00

I'm not a fan of opera and I don't know what he is singing.

But, wow... that is probably one of the most beautiful songs I have ever heard.

The Phantom of the Opera is Zzzzzzzz

2007-09-04T12:49:00.001-04:00

When telling people I was going to see The Phantom of the Opera for the first time last weekend, I was met with a generic response that was along the lines of "It's great, I've seen it *insert number here* times now!"

Having now seen the show, I can't help but ask those very same people "Why? Why would you put yourself through that so many times?"

Last year, I had attempted to sit through the movie version of the show, but promptly fell asleep somewhere around the Masquerade. No matter, I thought, someone had told me the movie wasn't very good anyway.

And I did like the music. I used to find the Phantom's organ theme song downright creepy and anything sung by Sarah Brightman hauntingly beautiful. I had also heard that, of any musical, this one was full of wonder and spectacle. After all, a chandelier does go crashing through the stage.

Unfortunately, I was severely disappointed with the NAC's production.

The acting was sub-par, the mic volume was on and off, there was no creepiness, and, except for a few pyrotechnics, the spectacle was severely lacking. The chandelier just kind of slowly jerked its way down to the stage while someone screamed. Have you ever seen Austin Powers where he's approaching a guard in a steam roller and yelling at him to get out of the way as the guy screams for his life, only when the camera pans out you see that he is no where near the guy in question? It kind of felt like that with the chandelier.

The singing was fairly pretty. The girl playing Christine was an understudy and, although she did better than I ever could with those high notes, there was no conviction in her voice. I just didn't believe her.

Oh and has anyone ever realized how the plot line to Phantom makes absolutely no sense?

*SPOILERS - SKIP TO THE END IF YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE PLOT (or lack thereof)*

*EDIT* Although the Ottawa Sun liked it more than I did, the review does bring up a few of my issues with the show and then some.

I think I first started realizing I couldn't suspend my disbelief much longer when the Phantom lured Christine to his lair and she took off his mask. The Phantom, outraged (or whatever that actor thought would pass for outrage as he rolled around on the floor in a weepy tantrum), tells her that now that she has seen him, she will never be free again. Then he promptly tells her he has to bring her back because people will be looking for her.
The hell?

Then when the Phantom actually starts killing people, I couldn't help wondering why people didn't just leave the theatre. You know, just sell the building, cut your losses, and move out. It's like watching a laughably bad horror movie where all the characters are running upstairs instead of out the front door.

When Christine and Raoul declare their love to each other and the Phantom responds by dropping a chandelier (see above for my comments on that), you'd think that they would have learned their lesson and run far far away from the opera house.
Nope. Six months later, they're back for a party.
Gee, do you think that a guy who runs around in a mask might take this as a good opportunity to present himself since the party is a MASQUERADE BALL? Who's bright idea for a party was that?

After this, I was fighting hard not to fall asleep during the rest of the performance. I was alert again when the Phantom started shooting fireballs from his hands (Wait, I thought we established a little earlier that he's just a circus freak, not a real ghost... so where did the fireballs come from???)

Then Raoul wises up and realizes that they can trap the Phantom and shoot him onstage because he wants to see Christine sing. Raoul has these cops stationed all over the place, including one in the orchestra pit. At one point the cops shoot at the Phantom but miss. I guess the cops took missing the shot pretty hard and went to console themselves with some French pastries or something because they ALL LEAVE and let the show begin.
So when Christine ends up singing with the Phantom onstage FRONT AND CENTRE there is NO ONE around to shoot him! Of course, the Phantom runs away with Christine... again.

Then there is some bit about keeping your hand at eye level or whatever... I didn't get it. I dunno. I was getting sleepy again.

The Phantom captures Raoul in the stupidest trap ever. Now he's got the girl and her lover. He tells her she has to love him or he dies. She kisses him. He lets everybody go... wait? Why did he just do that? That was stupid. Now he tells them to keep his existence a secret... Uh, dude, I hate to tell you this, but everybody just saw you kill a man and kidnap a girl on stage, not to mention there's an angry mob making it's way down to your lair as you speak and so...

You know what? Never mind. The Phantom does a nice bit of disappearing from behind his cape and lights fade "dramatically" on the mask he left behind.

**********END SPOILERS*****************

Don't get me wrong, I am glad I saw the musical. It's the longest running musical of all time and I wanted to know what it was all about.

But for God's sake, why would people subject themselves to this crap over and over again? Seriously. If you really want to see a big budget musical, go see something done by Sondheim. Or better yet, save your money and go see something like Avenue Q instead.

Funny aside from Wikipedia:
It seems Andrew Lloyd Webber had started working on a sequel called the Phantom of Manhattan. "However, according to a report published in the Daily Mail newspaper, a bizarre mishap has delayed the sequel; Lloyd Webber's cat, Otto, a rare-breed Turkish Van, clambered onto the digital Clavinova piano and managed to delete the entire score for Phantom of Manhattan. Lloyd Webber was unable to recover any of it from the instrument."

Good job, kitty.

Laziness 1 - Productivity 0

2007-08-28T14:10:00.000-04:00

Ok, so I got to set and it was busy. Escort extras here, sign them in there, patiently explain to them over twenty times that they should always assume that they may very well be there for 12 to 16 hours and that, no, they can't go home right now, and would you care for another cup of coffee?

Alright, there were some downtimes, but those were used up while getting reacquainted with old colleagues, bitching about the state of the film industry, and drinking coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.

I suck.

I have so many stupid excuses not to do stuff (and I realize they are stupid too) and yet I don't do anything about it. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen to me, instead of just doing the work myself.

(To be continued...)

So What Am I Going to Do with All This Free Time?

2007-08-27T13:15:00.000-04:00

After 8 months of hard work, Measure for Measure closed on Saturday to a sold out crowd at the NAC Fourth Stage. This brings to an end a constant stream of "volunteer" work I have been partaking in since May.

It almost goes without saying that I definitely need the break, however I'm already starting to feel restless. I know I should be taking this time to put things in order in my own life and write/produce my own work, but I feel lazy. I want someone else to do it for me.

Restless + Lazy = Bad Combination

I write this down so as to remind myself that even though I'm not working on a play at the moment, there is still stuff that I need to do.

Tonight, I'm going to be wrangling on set for an MOW. I'm bringing my laptop with me and I hope to get many of the random ideas running around my head down on paper.

Someone please hold me to that.

How I Got My First Union Credit

2007-08-22T11:58:00.001-04:00

Ok, so this is good for a laugh.

The internet video I did which gave me my first union credit is up. You can go to the Sexuality and You homepage to see it. I'm "Krista". You can also see the whole list of stories with other people here. I like how at the bottom of that page they wrote how the stories are real but the people portraying them are actors.

I'm sure the girl with the genital warts story is happy about that.

If anyone knows how I can save the video, please tell me how.

The Trap

2007-08-21T14:18:00.000-04:00

It happens to the best of us artists. I'm talking about that urge to just do something, anything, to keep busy, to stay involved. Since we never know where the next gig will come from we just take on anything and everything that comes our way because if we happen to stop, to take a break, someone else will sweep in, take what should have been rightfully ours, be discovered as the next best thing and be making million dollar movies before the end of the year, all because we passed up our opportunity to audition for our local community theatre.

We also have a tendency to be a bit overdramatic :p

I'm starting to feel that crazy itch to do something else now that end of Measure for Measure is on the horizon and I have nothing, and I mean nothing, planned for after.

The hard part is I've decided that I don't want to do "just anything" anymore. No, somehow in the past year or so I've developped "standards" where I actually want to be in something "good" and "professional". This means that you will not be seeing me trying out for any Little Theatres anytime soon (not that there is anything wrong with Little Theatres, but I definitely feel I am past that stage in my professional development).

It's a good thing though that I have nothing planned. I've realized one of the reasons I kept getting involved in other people's work was so I wouldn't have to focus on doing any of my own. It's my own personal resistance and it's time I buckled down and started fighting it.

I'll just get started after Saturday, OK?

What's in a Name?

2007-08-17T09:50:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, I went down to the local ACTRA branch office to officially apply for my membership as an ACTRA Apprentice. I filled out the form and handed over my cheque for $75. Simple.

There was just one problem. It turns out I'm not the only actress named Nancy Kenny. I knew this, of course, from my IMDB records where I was stuck being Nancy Kenny II, but I never dreamed that she was also Canadian. Well, not only is she Canadian, she's a full ACTRA member in her late forties living in Toronto.

According to the ACTRA Bylaws (specifically Bylaw 1 - Section 3.1) An applicant for membership with a name identical to that of an existing member shall adopt a
change of professional name before being accepted.

Also, I unfortunately can't pull a Michael J. Fox here because according to Bylaw 1 - Section 3.2 The addition of a first and/or middle initial to an otherwise identical name shall not be considered a
sufficient change.

Well, damn! This is a pretty predicament. For me and the Branch Office. I was told this was the first time he encountered a name conflict in Ottawa.

Great. I'm special.

I was, however, told that the use of my middle name (or if you asked my mother she would tell you it's actually my "whole" first name) would be acceptable. So would the addition of a letter within the name (although I just checked and there already is an actress named Nancy Kenney). Or I could use a different name altogether.

The thing is, I don't want to use my middle name or change my name in any way. I've grown very attached to "Nancy Kenny". Plus, there's a whole legal aspect to consider. If I go by a different name for work purposes, what happens if the production signs me a cheque to that name. Can I cash it? How do I prove to the bank that I am the same person? How does Madonna do it? Or Sting? Or any of these other people? Anyone who knows the legal repercussions involved in having a stage name, please contact me with more information.

In the meantime, let's have some fun, shall we? What would be a good option for me? Here are a few I've come up with by making slight modifications to my legal name. Most of them, I will admit, are pretty brutal.

(Brace yourselves! I'm about to reveal my middle name; something that I am always reluctant to do. *Sorry Mom!*)

Options
Nancy Jane Kenny
Nancey Kenny
Nanci Kenny
Jane Kenny
Nancy Jane
NJ Kenny

Or maybe something completely different? Discuss!

LaBute on the Brain

2007-08-14T16:09:00.000-04:00

So Neil LaBute has been on my mind alot lately. Watching rehearsals for Fat Pig, I would discover so many layers in his words that had me completely and utterly captivated. Recently, I've started buying more of his plays. Then last night, when discussing possible shows for Evolution Theatre to produce, I rumaged through Chris and Linda's play library to find The Shape of Things. I borrowed it and went home. Once home, I turned on the TV and what do I find? IFC is airing the movie version of The Shape of Things. The nerd in me followed along with the play. It was interesting to see some of the differences between the film and stage versions.

I wonder in what other ways LaBute is going to infiltrate himself into my life. I get the feeling it's not over yet.

Where the Heck Have I Been?

2007-08-13T16:19:00.000-04:00

I know, I know, I said I was back to blogging and then I just let it all drop again. What can I say, the past few weeks have been busy. I realized today that it's the first time I'm actually getting a whole week off from doing any sort of artistic work since May. It started with Fringe, followed by Salamander Theatre and, to a lesser extent, Evolution Theatre's Insomnia, and it just recently ended with the closing night of Fat Pig this past Saturday. Next week, I have one more turn with Salamander at the NAC and then I'm off for good.

I'm happy to finally have a break. It's time I got back to creating my own work instead of always doing someone else's. The timing of this break also couldn't be better since there are a bunch of shows I want to go see, including the upcoming Theatrelife by Toto Too Theatre.

Oh, and although I've been incredibly busy, I somehow managed to finally get my hair cut. I'm quite pleased with the results, even if I do say so myself. Sorry for the poor quality of the pictures, but they were taken with my camera phone.

Opening Tonight - Neil LaBute's Fat Pig

2007-08-01T11:26:00.000-04:00

Looking for a place to cool off during these hot summer days? Why don't you stop by the U of O's Studio Leonard-Beaulne and get a little theatre fix while you're at it?

This is a really great show, I hope you can make it!

Cow. Slob. Pig. How many insults can you hear before you have to stand up and defend the woman you love? From August 1-11 at the Studio Léonard Beaulne, Ottawa's Breathing Time Productions will approach that very quandary with Neil LaBute's critically acclaimed Fat Pig, which takes an unflinching stab at our public perception of beauty and makes one wonder if love needs society's blessing to be complete.

Director Michèle Lonsdale Smith takes the lead with an all-star cast of talented locals, consisting of Corry Burke, Jared Côté, Claudia Jurt, and Dani Kind.

In Fat Pig, Tom (Côté) surprises even himself when he falls for Helen (Jurt), a bright, funny, sexy young woman who happens to be plus-sized - and then some. Forced to explain his new relationship to his shallow (although shockingly funny) friends, he finally comes to terms with his own preconceptions of the importance for conventional good looks. Neil LaBute's sharply drawn play not only critiques our slavish adherence to Hollywood ideals of beauty but also boldly questions our own ability to change what we dislike about ourselves.

Breathing Time Productions presents Fat Pig from August 1-4 and again from August 7-11 at the University of Ottawa's Studio Léonard Beaulne. All shows begin at 8pm. Tickets are $15 for adults, $12 for students and seniors. There will be a special Pass-the-hat night on August 2 and all tickets on August 7 are 2 for 1. Tickets go on sale at noon Friday, July 20, 2007 at Beaded Dreams (426 Bank St.) and Oz Kafe (6-361 Elgin St.) For more information, please call 613-565-2107.

I Heart Morrisburg

2007-07-24T15:23:00.000-04:00

On Sunday, as part of my touring Shakespearian duties, we left Ottawa for the quaint little town of Morrisburg. We had an evening performance, but since one of our castmates works for the Upper Canada Playhouse, we were privileged enough to have tickets for the matinee performance of the new Norm Foster play, Bedtime Stories.

On first impressions, I was pleasantly surprised. The exterior of the theatre consists of a giant mural. It's so big that at first I couldn't figure out where the door was. Then when I walked into the building, I fell in love with the space. I can't even begin to explain it. You can check out the UCP website for their sating plan to get a better idea, but it definitely won't do it justice. The space just felt very cozy to me. Add to that the fact that the show was sold out and people were fighting for standing room tickets... well, I felt like I was home.

Everyone was very nice and welcoming. Perfect strangers would just start pleasantly chatting with you in line. Every store window I passed had posters for our show. And best of all, we were down by the waterfront, which is an amazing thing for a Maritime girl. To think, I technically just hop in a boat and let the current take me all the way home to NB...

The Norm Foster show was great too! I have to admit, I wasn't as familiar with his work as I felt I should be. Somehow I always confuse him and Neil Simon. I had never actually seen a Foster show before (though I'd read two), even though the Melville Boys seems to be in constant rotation at one theatre or another around here. I had always heard that Foster was low-brow or common and not very popular with the theatre "elite". To that I say: Who cares? I had a blast which is more than I can say about some of the "upper crust" theatre I've seen in the past. Bedtime Stories was well-written, cheesy good fun, sometimes touching, often very funny, and well-worth the drive down all the way down to the end of Bank St.

*********************************
Our show took place at Morrisburg's new outdoor amphitheatre. It was gorgeous, although a run through the giant circle at least once would have been beneficial. We were the first ones to ever use the space in town and attendance for our show was well over 100 people.

After the show, I got to meet the artistic director of UCP, a really nice man. He said it would be great if we could come back again next year. I said I would prefer working in his theatre next year. He told me to make sure to send him my stuff and I would get an audition.

That was just the icing on the cake.

Who Says You Shouldn't Work With Kids and Animals?

2007-07-23T16:32:00.000-04:00

Last Thursday was a crappy day for outdoor theatre. It had been raining most of the afternoon and, though it had mostly stopped by show time, the grass was plenty wet and the skies were still overcast enough to keep people away.

Some people did brave the weather though, including a woman with her little dog and even littler child.

I was in the middle of my judgement scene (Act II, Scene I of Measure for Measure) when one of the actors playing a bawd attempted some kind of "threatening" move as I sat in my "throne" (quotations because the move wasn't that threatening, nor does my seat look anything like a throne). At that very moment, the dog took offense and began madly barking in my defense. I couldn't have timed it better if I had wanted to.

Then, as I was lecturing the bawd, his companion, and the people in general on the way things run in Vienna, aforementioned small child cautiously begins to make her way across the stage towards my now-vacant throne. Since the audience obviously isn't going to ignore an adorable 15 month old girl as she valiantly tries to climb up my chair, I figured why should I? So, I continued speaking my lines, picked up the little girl and sat down with her in my chair.

Since I had sat down at this point, my scene partners were thrown off their blocking. I also started speaking my lines to the little girl. Suddenly, the entire scene made sense to me. I finally understood why I let everyone off the hook instead of having them all whipped. Escalus was too busy dealing with a beautiful small child to care about the vagrants in the city.

It was the best work I had down for this show throughout the entire run. There is nothing like random distractions to suddenly make you present in a scene.

Now, does anyone know where I might be able to find more small children to toss up on stage?

Waiting for Shakespeare

2007-07-16T17:20:00.000-04:00

Well, I am now at the halfway mark for Measure for Measure with Salamander Theatre's Shakespeare Young Company. For those of you who might be interested in attending a performance, you can find out more info here.

I have to say, it's been an interesting experience. For one thing, performing outdoors has given me a brand new appreciation for my vocal cords. Competing with traffic, children playing and, depending on our location that day, the 6:20 and 8:30 trains will do that.

I've also never fathomed the possibility of being upstaged by a flock of geese (a gaggle?) before. Nor having to watch where I sit because said geese have been using our entire staging area as their own personal toilet.

This weekend, I had my first billeted experience in Wilton, ON and it was a very pleasant one. We were very well fed and actually told we wouldn't need our sleeping bags since we'd get beds.

I'm quite certain most of the people who come out to see a Shakespearian show in rural Ontario don't get what is being said on stage (or so I gathered from the older gentlemen frequently found dozing in the front row), but they are very appreciative that we've taken the time to come out there and do something for them.

In Wilton, our presence helped raise funds so the town hall can get its first toilets with indoor plumbing installed. Currently, they only had a chemical toilet, which was cutely decorated in a way only grandma could manage.
(Bathroom situations throughout the run alone could probably make for an interesting blog post).
I was really touched when this old woman brought me ice cream after the show to thank us and told me how having bathrooms in the hall would help the community out. That alone almost makes all the crappy stuff I have to deal with worthwhile.

Sometimes, I'm such a sap.

Another INSOMNIA review

2007-07-12T09:30:00.000-04:00

Ok, here's the review from the Ottawa Xpress. It's a positive review although I disagree with her comments on the show's directing. Personally I thought everything flowed really well together. Maybe it was because she saw it on opening night and it was still getting its stage legs. Also, she messed up some of the basic character information in the show (it's Kate, not Gwen who's the narcoleptic)Still, it's a positive review.

I prefer Alvina's though, which was critical but also clear.

If you haven't yet seen this show, do it NOW before it closes on Saturday

CHECK IT OUT!

2007-07-09T10:07:00.000-04:00

*EDIT* Added a link for Alvina Ruprecht's review

I had the privilege on Saturday of watching an incredibly solid show.

Evolution Theatre is currently presenting Insomnia by Daniel Brooks and Guillermo Verdecchia, directed by Chris Bedford, at the U of O's Academic Hall.

This show was technically stunning and most of the performances were just fantastic. Even Alvina Ruprecht enjoyed it! (Check under Shakespeare to Dieudonne)

Unfortunately, they have not been getting the audiences they rightly deserve.

The show still runs from July 11th to 14th. All shows start at 8pm and there is an additional Saturday matinee on the 14th beginning at 2 p.m. Tickets are $15 at the door for adults, $10 for students. Reservations can be made by calling 613-864-3386, or by sending an email to evolutiontheatre@gmail.com.

Do yourself a favor this week and go see this show! Oh, and do your friends a favor by bringing them too. You will not regret it.

The End is the Beginning

2007-06-29T15:10:00.000-04:00

Well, on Sunday, June 24th, the Ottawa Fringe Festival came to a close. It truly was a wonderful adventure. The first show I have ever written/directed/produced went up and was an all-around success. Thank you to everyone who came out to see it. I managed to make a few dollars profit and I am pleased that I will be able to give my cast and crew something (however meager) in return.

I saw at least 13 different shows (way more than I had thought I would have time for) and if you add to that the 2 I saw at the Magnetic North Theatre Festival, I've seen 15 shows in June.

I met a ton of wonderful people including a beautiful clown, a dirty lounge singer, a guy with 18 personalities, and someone who told me about his experiences with the second coming of Christ. If you weren't there, you sorely missed out.

I learned a lot throughout my experience and I will now be taking the time to recoup, tie up some loose ends and rassle up some feedback for the show (if you saw the show don't be surprised if solicit you). I want to keep working on this script to see where it could go.

I haven't yet had a break so I can decompress and put my thoughts together. My rehearsals with Salamander's Shakespeare Young Company started while the Fringe was still going on. The show opens next week. I've also been giving Evolution Theatre a hand with publicity for their upcoming Insomnia (look for a plug soon) and getting ready for a presentation of my scene from acting class for an upcoming fundraiser (another plug coming soon). Add to that my day job at the museum, an overnight shoot doing BG work on an MOW, a trip to the clinic to get a tetanus shot and band aids because my landlord seems to think rusty nails and roofing materials should be left outside our front door (long story), and an online course through Algonquin College... yeah, a break would be nice.

Luckily, I'm going to Toronto this weekend. Going to watch a musical or two, read some books, and just rest. Oh and spend some time with Darcy before he forgets what I look like. On Monday, things pick up all over again.

It Was Bound to Happen

2007-06-18T11:28:00.000-04:00

So, I've read one review for the show so far and it's not good. Contructive, but not good. I'm not going to tell you where this was, but it's not that hard to find if you really try.

It's to be expected, I suppose. This is after all the first show that I've ever written and directed before. I'm also not stupid and realize where the weak points are both in the script and in the performance of the show. Unfortunately, a lack of time as well as a few hiccups along the road made it difficult to polish up.

I'm apologizing for myself aren't I?

Ok, so maybe some of the words in the review were a little hard to swallow, but I'm a big girl and I have learned from my experience.

So thanks for the feedback, oh anonymous critic! I'll keep working on it.

Goodbye Non-Union Independant Films

2007-06-18T09:26:00.001-04:00

This past weekend, I shot what will probably amount to being my last non-union independant film.

That's right folks, Nancy is getting her first ACTRA credit!

So what does that mean?

Well, the biggest thing is that if I'm in a movie or a TV show, I have to get paid for it. It also means that if I do background work in town, I am guaranteed at least 160$ for my day. It means I can now audition for commercials. It means that I have someone looking out for my best interests on set. It means I have to get food and breaks when working.

But most of all, it means that I am taking a major step towards a career as a professional actor.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go teach kids about birth control

A Not So Shameless Self-Promotion

2007-06-14T13:51:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm at it again, except this time, I'm not performing in a show.

Nope, this time I wrote a show and I am directing it for the Ottawa Fringe Festival.

So, ladies and gentlemen, without further ado, I give you REALITY CHECK!

Mad Muses Productions presents Reality Check

Ever wonder why good or bad things seem to happen to people? Did you ever feel like cosmic forces out of your control are just messing around with you?

Well, they are.

To be fair though, if you had to spend all eternity watching humans interact with one another, wouldn’t you want to mess around with them too?

Venue 5 - Arts Court Theatre, 2 Daly Avenue
Tickets are $10 General Admission

Show Dates:
Saturday, June 16 4:00pm (2 for 1 admission!)
Sunday, June 17 6:30pm
Monday, June 18 7:30pm
Wednesday, June 20 11:00pm
Friday, June 22 9:00pm
Sunday June 24 8:00pm

Written and Directed by Nancy Kenny
Staring:
Anouk Landry
Matt Martineau
Ryan Browne
Lisa Aitken
Joe Marques

See you at the beer tent after the show!

Why I Am Full Of Shit

2007-06-06T11:54:00.000-04:00

For those of you who don't know yet, after talking about it for years, I've finally taken the plunge and gotten braces to correct a slight overlap in my two front teeth. Most people didn't notice this overlap until I point it out to them, but I noticed and it bugged me. That was reason one for getting it done. Reason two was because, as of May 19th, orthodontics were fully covered under my health plan. So basically, I'm getting them done for free. My dentist also told me that the enamel on my top teeth was worn down like that of someone who grinds their teeth (I don't). He attributes this to the fact that my mouth doesn't close properly and so they've simply started to wear down from improper use. It's nothing major right now, but it could get worse in the future.

All this to say I am now metal-gear solid.

A part of me figured that this would mark an impromptu break in my acting career. After all, braces not only affect how I look, they could affect the way I speak. So who would want to hire a metal-mouth mid-twenty year old who can't talk good? (grammar mistake on purpose)
So I would take this nine month sabbatical to do my own work, create my own company, write/direct/produce/star in my own shows and not worry about performing for other people. I'd just finish up my acting class and Shakespeare and then set sail.

I even had the perfect project already lined up. I got asked to be a supernumerary in Opera Lyra's upcoming production of Don Giovanni. Perfect! No talking and an appearance in Southam Hall at the NAC.

Oh sure, I would still audition for stuff IF it came up, but there's no way I would get cast!

And this, ladies and gentlemen, is why I am full of shit:

Two auditions and a callback later and I've been cast in two independant films, one of which I may have to turn down because, get this, I don't have the time!

My agent also called me yesterday and I have an audition tonight for the next MOW in town. I'm auditioning for a part called the SSHHHH Girl. Basically, I'm in a college class and go "Shhhhhh!" to the main actors.

Who knows, the braces may be what makes me stand out from the rest of the crowd.

***************************************

Stay tuned for another SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION!

Chronicles of a Fringe Experience

2007-05-27T16:22:00.001-04:00

Well, as promised, I'm back to talk about my upcoming show at the Fringe.

It's called Reality Check and you can check out some of the details here.

Producing my own show has been quite the experience. I know that when I was in school I hated being forced to take such "menial" classes as Technical Theatre, but these days I would be at a lost without the skills I'd learned.

At first, I was going to cast myself in it. This had started after all as a make work project for myself. Then realizing that all the good directors I knew (there are more, they just don't have blogs) were already involved in other projects, I decided to do what I had told myself I would never do.
I became a director.

The hardest part about directing? Casting

I foolishly (lazily) didn't want to do auditions. After all, I know a lot of actors, many of which are always complaining that they aren't doing any work, so how hard could it be to insert them into my show. Besides, who doesn't want to be in a play?

Apparently, a lot of them (or maybe they simply didn't want to be in my play?). Excuses ran the gamut from unavailable on show dates, to too busy, to "I don't do theatre" (what?!?). And once I thought I had a show cast the way I wanted it, it wasn't anymore.

Needless to say, to any budding director out there, just suck it up and have some auditions. If people actually show up for them, you're already one step ahead of the game.

Now, finally, I have a full cast and I couldn't be happier. Rehearsal last night was amazing. Everyone is working so well together. To hear my words, words that I at times found to be so-so, coming out of the mouths of talented actors is an incredible rush. They are bringing dept and insight and making me discover things about something I wrote. I am excited.

I am learning a lot and having fun. I've realized that doing my own work is something that I not only enjoy, but I'm good at it too. I already know what my next project is going to be.

If any of you are considering writing and producing your own work, all I can say is why are you holding out on having what could amount to being one of the greatest experiences of your lives?

The End (for Now)

2007-04-11T11:05:00.000-04:00

After five fantastic days immersed in an intensive acting environment, I am now suffering from the crash back to reality.

I learned alot during my classes, gained new insights and inspirations, once again was blown away by the amount of talent Ottawa has to offer, and was taught a valuable lesson.

I need to be doing this for me, not to impress others.

That is why I will be taking a break from my public writings for a little while to focus on writing for myself, without censuring.

I may be back sometime around June to promote my Fringe show. I may not.

Thanks for lending an ear.

Commitment

2007-04-05T14:09:00.001-04:00

If you say you're going to show up to do something, please keep your word and show up.

Lancement au CNA

2007-04-05T14:04:00.000-04:00

J’ai eu le plaisir, mardi, accompagné d’une très chère amie, d’assister au lancement de la saison 2007-2008 du Théâtre Français du CNA. Quoique les pièces ont l’air d’être très intéressantes, ce qui m’a le plus frappé fut le fait que je mis connaît très peu du côté artistique francophone au Canada. De plus, je ne sais même pas quoi faire pour me rapprocher de ce milieu.

Suggestions?

Resistance Is Futile

2007-04-02T15:13:00.000-04:00

It’s less than a week to my acting class and I’m sinking deeper and deeper into a big stinking ball of resistance. The scene I’m doing is very tough and visceral. It’s the kind of scene that actors dream about doing. And I’m scared shitless of it. I see the play on my desk and I tell myself I will look at it later… then later comes and I still haven’t touched it. The more I wait to look at it, the bigger the fear monster gets.

I trust my partner for this scene, but I don’t trust myself.

This resistance has also seeped into everything else I do. It’s paralyzed me and made me a real pain in the ass to be around. I haven’t touched my own script in days. I take my frustrations out on the ones closest to me. I'm getting massive tension knots in my shoulders that even the most intense of yoga/pilates can't get out. But worst of all, it’s made me care deeply about what people around me think.

It’s stupid. I should just do the work. Seriously, what’s the worse that could happen? I cry? I get angry? I make a big giant mess of it all in a safe and nurturing environment where nobody will judge me?

People get up to go to war every day and I’m scared of a few lines on a page…

A Crazy Idea

2007-03-30T14:11:00.000-04:00

I’m planning on getting a bicycle to get to work each day. That should cut a whole hour out of my commute and get me some great exercise. Then I got a notice that lululemon is holding a run clinic and free clothing as well as your entrance fee into the National Capital Race Weekend is included. Now, I hate running. I don’t really see the purpose of it unless you are being chased. That said, I love me some lululemon clothing (or as my scene partner for acting class so eloquently put it: “Girls love that shit”) So, after two email reminders about the clinic, and my old roommate letting me know that she has also started running on a regular basis, I went in yesterday to sign up.

That got me thinking (which usually isn’t a good idea because then I start doing things like “write a play”): well if I’m cycling and running, I would just have to add swimming to do a triathlon.

DINGDINGDINGDINGDING!!!

I looked it up and there is something called “Try a Tri” which takes place on September 1st as part of the Canadian Iron Distance Triathlon. It’s kind of a Triathlon for beginners: 200m swim, 15K bike ride, and 5K run.

And on September 1st, I will be in it.

And maybe this guy, if I can properly appeal to his love of all things spandex.

How Popular Am I (or I Am a Stalkers Dream)

2007-03-30T13:38:00.000-04:00

Ok, I googled myself again (Oh shut up, you know you do it too!).

I’ve moved up in the internet world since 2005:
The first two sites found are this blog.
Number three is my page on my agent’s website. That’s the first time I’ve seen that one come up. Very cool.
Number four is probably the most important one: it’s my fundraising page for the MS Walk. I know there are many people reading this site. Please, take two minutes out of your life and make a donation. It can be as little as 5 or 10 dollars but it means the world in the life of someone with Multiple Sclerosis. My friend Beth wrote a great post on where the funding goes and how much it helps people. You should definitely give it a read.
Finally at number five you find my IMDB credits. Yes, it is suppose to be me. No, I’m not married to a John Connolly. IMDB just screwed up and put my acting credit for Mercy with this woman who was the Phone Booth Woman in some movie called Power and Beauty and then my production credits are under Nancy Kenny II. But obviously, since I am the true Nancy Kenny, I refuse to give up Nancy Kenny I. Although if the aforementioned Phone Booth Nancy Kenny reads this because she googled herself and found me, she can leave a comment as to where we can meet for an all-out brawl to who will own the rights to Nancy Kenny I.

My Spidey Sense Is Tingling

2007-03-29T13:24:00.000-04:00

Ever since the feature film fiasco of 2005 (so heavily detailed in this blog that I just don’t have the energy to talk about it anymore), I had been hesitant to more independent films. The only films I had dared audition for recently were ones where I knew someone who was involved or stuff that was backed by a “reputable” institution, like Algonquin College. This, in turn, helped increase my confidence in independent productions to the point where I randomly sent my stuff in to a few things I found on the ACT website.

Try and see which one I’m actually going to show up and audition for:

Production Company A:
-Has a professional looking website which includes past films they’ve created, detailed biographies of the people involved with the company, news updates, film festivals they’ve participated in, and lots of other details;
-Has an email address with a production company tagline;
-Has an incredibly detailed story synopsis and character breakdown;
-When emailed, they were very friendly and offered lots of additional information.

Production Company B:
-Has no website or past credentials;
-Has a hotmail account;
-Offered no character or story information, only a general need 10 men and women;
-When emailed, told me not to email them but to give them my phone number – also in a sentence of less than 20 words, misspelled more than half of them.

All this to say, if you are a non-union actor, please be careful out there. The only person who can look out for you is you.

Happy World Theatre Day!

2007-03-27T12:37:00.001-04:00

I think it's appropriate that I learn about my upcoming GCTC audition on World Theatre Day. The bonus is that the audition will be taking place in May on my birthday.

For those who don't know, "World Theatre Day was created in 1961 by the International Theatre Institute (ITI). It is celebrated annually on the 27th March by ITI Centres and the international theatre community. Various national and international theatre events are organized to mark this occasion.
One of the most important of these is the circulation of the World Theatre Day International Message through which at the invitation of ITI, a figure of world stature shares his or her reflections on the theme of Theatre and a Culture of Peace."

I know how I'm going to celebrate today: I have a free ticket for Vision's The Anger in Ernest and Ernestine.

If you are looking for something to do on this most glorious of days, here are a couple of things happening in town.

First of all, like I mentioned above, Vision Theatre has their show at 8pm at Arts Court. At the NAC, the Company of Fools is presenting their annual theatre challenge, which looks like a lot of foolish fun and the French play, Forêts. The GCTC has The Four Horsemen Project and Pippin opens at the University of Ottawa. At the other end of town Kanata Theatre opens Cat on a Hot Tin Roof.

All in all, lots of great stuff happening all over town so you better go out there and celebrate! I think you have to. It's quite possibly an international law.

Only If I Didn’t Want to Work in This Town Again

2007-03-26T10:30:00.000-04:00

I got a notice from a mailing list I subscribe too that W-Five is looking for “industry stories for an investigative piece into the underbelly of the Toronto Film Industry.” From what I gathered, they are looking for a lot of bad experiences people have had in the film industry.

Now, as someone who has worked on a variety of film sets in various capacities, as someone who has done her research on the union, and as someone who has even thought classes on the business, I definitely have plenty of stories I could share.

But I’ll be damned if I would ever share them with investigative journalists who are, in all likelihood, looking for something they can sensationalize for the masses.

Yes, there are negative sides to the industry, but I’ve also found a lot of positive sides too. Unfortunately, I doubt they would really care about the warm fuzzies I get from being on set.

Pay No Attention to the Voices in Your Head

2007-03-23T11:04:00.000-04:00

*Edit - added the video*

I had resisted posting/emailing my last blog. There was a little voice inside me that kept telling me I would look like an idiot if I sent it. However, the louder that little voice got, the more confident I was that I needed to send this out. I wasn't doing it to get a response, but the overwhelming about of replies I got told me that I was right. I feel hopeful about life.

I'm tired today. I had very little sleep and it's not making me feel all that great. It is my own fault. I didn't have to go out for a drink after a short film festival I attended, but I wanted reconnect with some old friends. I feel better though if I keep working on stuff. Tonight I'm going to pour over my script for the first time since the reading and I will try to build it up. I'm also going to start learning my lines for this scene from acting class that I've been resisting. I'm working on the Crackwalker by Judith Thompson. If you're not familiar, let me just tell you that it's not one of those happy feel good shows.

Tomorrow I'm back with Remote Planet, which is great. I haven't been able to record any shows in a while since Saturdays have typically turned out to be very busy for me. I'm also going to be reshooting a scene from a short film I did a little while back. Turns out the lighting was really bad in my last scene and it needs to be redone.

While I'm glad to have been doing so many films lately, I wish some of them would get completed. I have yet to see anything that I've ever done.

Finally, there is an awesome little video that was made during our Coffee House Fundraiser on the Buttons and Beaus Blog.

Remember, you can still help out by sponsoring me in the MS Supercities Walk!

An Open Letter to All Artists (and Artists in Hiding)

2007-03-21T16:12:00.000-04:00

This revelation was inspired after a conversation with an amazing gal-pal in BC, a few other equally amazing people here in Ottawa and the highly underrated movie Galaxy Quest (Never give up, never surrender!)

Dear Artist (and Artist in Hiding – You Know Who You Are),
This letter is for those times when doubt overwhelms you and corners you in your own home; this letter is for those times when all you can do is question yourself; this letter is for those times when the sheets of your bed become the safest tunnel you could ever crawl into; this letter is for those times when you are so broke that a meaningless desk job seems like your only salvation; this letter is for those times when you want to hop in your car and just keep driving until you reach a destination where nobody knows you; this letter is for those times when you just want to keep running until no one is chasing you anymore; this letter is for those times when the ocean is calling out to you, when you just want swim as far out and dive as far down as you possibly can until the water has completely enveloped you and you don’t feel anything anymore; this letter is for you.

How do I know you sometimes feel this way?

I feel it too. And when I’ve felt that way, you were there for me in person, on the phone, via email, via text, or in spirit. Even if we’ve never met before, you were there for me. You wouldn’t let me give up.

I’m here to say thank you and to let you know that I won’t give up on you.

What you do, what we do, is important. It is a gift. It brings joy, awareness, and insight. It is filled with love, it uplifts the soul, and it makes people feel something. We were blessed to have such a calling.

The more miserable and empty you feel today, the bigger the task, the dream, the goal you have, nay need, to accomplish. If you get to work on it, even just a little, trust me, you will feel better. You don’t need to ask me what you should be getting to work on; you know the answer is inside of you. Just take a moment to listen.

It isn’t easy, but nothing worthwhile is ever easy. You will need to work hard and you will, quite often, need to work alone. There will be no rest and no vacations. When you take a “break,” you will do so knowing that you will have to work twice as hard the next time around. There will also be people around you who will try to stop you. They may offer pretty rewards and temptations, or they may try to outright crush you and make you feel small. We will not let them, because we have a mission. We have a purpose in this life.

You might be getting angry at me for saying this. That’s alright, I can take it.
You might delete this and try to forget about it. That’s alright, but your passion will not stop haunting you until you do something about it.
You might wonder who the hell I am to be telling you what to do. I am telling you things you already know because I am more than just your friend. We are all connected, you and I, through our art. We are family. I am your teacher, your student, your mother, your father, your son, your daughter, your brother, your sister, your partner in arms in this War of Art and I’m not willing to leave you to die on the battlefield. Not on my watch.

You are beautiful, you are worthy, and you are strong (stronger than even you might suspect). You are a superstar in your own right. You can do it. I believe in you because I know you also believe in me.

So please pick up that pen, that brush, that guitar; move your feet; sing that song; learn, grow, be inspired; do what you want to do and do it now; jump and let the whole world see you fall. In the end, we will all be better off for it.

Keep fighting the good fight!

Love,
Nancy

PS. Please pass this on to any artist in need (which is all of them) including myself. Today I am strong, but tomorrow I may become the person I am talking about.

Hodge-Podge of Stuff

2007-03-20T15:35:00.000-04:00

I went to the Media Launch for the Magnetic North Theatre Festival today. There are a lot of great looking shows coming to town as well as some interesting subsidiary activities. I’m tempted to buy an Industry Pass so that I can see it all. However, with the Fringe Festival also happening in June, followed by an intensive rehearsal period with the Shakespeare Young Company, it would make for a very busy month.

I’ve also sent in all my information for the Fringe Festival Program. So, coming soon to the Arts Court Theatre, Mad Muses Productions presents Reality Check:

Ever wonder why good or bad things seem to happen to people? Did you ever feel like cosmic forces out of your control are just messing around with you?
Well, they are.
To be fair though, if you had to spend all eternity watching humans interact with one another, wouldn't you want to mess around with them too?

Mark your calendars now!
Reality Check in the Arts Court Theatre
Saturday, June 16 – 4:00pm (2 for 1 tickets)
Sunday, June 17 – 6:30pm
Monday, June 17 – 7:30pm
Wednesday, June 20 – 11:00pm
Friday, June 22 – 9:00pm
Sunday, June 24 – 8:00pm

Special thanks to the wonderful Darren for the image.

In other news, my agent has set up an audition in April for a French TV show. So far, I’ve had more auditions through her in the past three months then in the whole of 2006. I think it has a lot to do with opening the doors of communication with my agent. I constantly keep her up-to-date on what I’m doing, I seek out her advice on certain career matters, I let her know how auditions went, and I show strong dedication and work-ethic as an actor. I rarely turn anything down or see anything as being “beneath me”. I also realize that the actor-agent relationship is a partnership, one where there has to be mutual trust and understanding.

Or maybe there’s just been more of an abundance of work for people of my type/age range.

I’d like to think it’s a little from column A and a little from column B.

You Like Me, You Really Like Me!

2007-03-18T22:37:00.001-04:00

On Saturday, March 17, in front of a crowd of approximately 20 to 30 people, I held a staged reading of my first play, Reality Check as part of a fundraiser for Multiple Sclerosis research. It was nerve-wracking, it was exciting, and it was way better than I could have expected.

It was pretty loud in the Agora as people milled about chatting and whatnot. But when we started the read, you could feel them all quiet down and pay attention.

And they laughed! They actually thought what I wrote was funny!

I can't tell you how great it felt to hear the words I had written being spoken out loud, to have them take a life of their own, to have them be appreciated by an attentive audience.

What a rush!

Big thanks to Chris, Linda and Caitlin for helping me out! I couldn't have done it without you.

Check out some more pics from the fundraiser here. You can also get more information on Multiple Sclerosis and sponsor me in my upcoming walk here.

Coffeehouse Fundraiser Today!

2007-03-17T08:46:00.000-04:00

Happy St-Patty's Day to you all!

Before you go out and celebrate your Irish heritage, be sure to stop by the Agore Bookstore on Besserer for MS Coffeehouse Fundraiser from 1pm to 5pm.

I will be on at 3:30 with some friends for a stage reading of my very own Fringe play: Reality Check. Yes, it's finally done (at least version 1.0 is done)!

I would love it if anyone who reads this could not only come out to give me some feedback, but support a great cause too.

If you can't make it out, you can always sponsor me for the upcoming MS Supercities Walk.

Thank you!

Montreal Audition or One Wrong Turn and You End Up in Longueuil

2007-03-14T17:06:00.000-04:00

I was all set this morning to head out to Montreal. My friend Mercedes also had an audition and her boyfriend was driving us. Last night, after printing my resume, I ran out of paper.

"No matter," I thought. I was bringing my laptop, so I was able to save the driving directions there. Unfortunately, when I got in the car, I realized that I had left my laptop unplugged last night and the battery was dead.

Damn. I'm now carrying a very expensive rock with me.

One phone call home later, I had the directions.

The great thing about either getting a ride or taking the bus to MTL for an audition is that you get plenty of time to learn your lines. Having a fellow actor friend along with me also meant that I could go over them with someone else.

We arrived in MTL about an hour and a half later (I don't want to know how fast he was driving) which was good since we missed one exit and somehow ended up in Longueuil. We made it back safely though and with plenty of time to spare.

For some reason, there doesn't seem to be any coffee shops or the like in Montreal. I needed to go the bathroom thanks to the coffee from the good people at Timmy Ho's and Mercedes needed to change her clothes. There was a port-a-potty near the casting office, but even I have more dignity then that. Mercedes decided to change in the car and I fixed up my makeup there too.

I chuckled. Getting ready in a car? Who says being an actor is glamorous?

I was happy with my audition. I was myself, had fun, and I could tell in shone through. For once I didn't worry about what I looked like (much). At the end, the casting director picked my resume back up from the pile and took the time to ask me plenty of questions. She was also happy with my audition and sincerely wished me all the best.

I don't know if I'll get the part, but I literally don't care (much). I had such a good time in that audition room that it almost doesn't matter.

Back in Ottawa, my agent informed me that I have a voice audition tomorrow in French.

I'm moving on. But I have a strong feeling that this year is my year.

And you know why? Because not only did I have an audition today and one scheduled for tomorrow, but I also FINALLY WON A TIM HORTONS COFFEE!

Yes, life is good.

BREAKING NEWS!

2007-03-13T13:10:00.001-04:00

I just got word from my agent that I will be attending my first professional audition in Montreal tomorrow!

WOOO!

In Search of Conflict...

2007-03-13T10:11:00.000-04:00

Or an obstacle…

Or even a point…

Writing is tough. I think I’ve rewritten the beginning of my play at least four or five times and yet I can’t seem to get to the end.

Sometimes I stop and wonder why I am doing this. I mean why me? Why did I go ahead and think I was so damn special, that I had something important to say to the world when it turns out all I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.

…

All I really wanted to talk about is some girl who unknowingly has an Angel and Devil for a roommate as they battle for the eternal domination of her soul.

Ok, looking at it that way, my plot line actually looks kinda cool… and I think I just had some more dialogue pop up in my head… and of course today is the day that I forget to bring one of the nine notebooks I usually carry around in my purse with me…

I just realized that sometimes it helps to actually take a step back and write down/unload all the junk that is clogging up your mind. Once that junk is gone, you might actually find what you’ve been looking for.

*************************************************
I got my Venue last night – Arts Court Theatre.

When I read my email, I held my breath at the thought of performing in that space. Not only am I producing my own piece of work for the entire world to see, I get to do it in a beautiful 130 seat theatre.

Then I did something like this:

OMG OMG OMG
I got ARts COurt Theatre
OMG
I can't fill that! I'm totally going to suck! My play is pure fluff and says nothing! NOTHING!
AJFREAJFESHJGSFKGSFKGSLFA

*pulls out hair and runs around the room screaming*

....

*after running out of breath, comes back in, sadly gluing clumps of hair back onto her head*

END SCENE

(Now why can’t my script come out as easily as my hair?)

Do I want the world to know that I am a person who is currently filled with doubts, insecurities, and a lingering feeling of guilt and inadequacy that I am filling a Fringe spot that could be better occupied by a much more professional and worthwhile company because it shatters this image of perfection and control that I have carefully tried to build around my life? Not really.

Do I want people to understand I’m a human being who isn’t perfect nor in control and for some cosmic reason was granted an absolutely fabulous opportunity to do something creative with her life and though she might fail, at least she tried? Yeah, I do.

What's Out There

2007-03-12T13:48:00.000-04:00

The end of March is a busy time for Theatre-goers in Ottawa (namely me). A couple shows I am planning on seeing over the next couple of weeks:

William and James by Toto Too Theatre (until March 17)
Greek by Repercussion Theatre (until March 17)
What the Butler Saw by Sock n Buskin (until March 24)
The Anger in Ernest and Ernestine (March 22-31)

There may even be more that I’m missing (like the NAC and GCTC) but I think four shows over the next three weeks are enough both for me and my wallet.

There’s Interest?

2007-03-12T11:25:00.000-04:00

RE: my last post
Oh man, there is actually quite a bit of interest in people either coming out to the coffee house to see a preview of my show and/or giving me feedback on the script.

A part of me is terrified at all the attention.

“Oh my God, what if they think it sucks!” “What if it’s the worse thing in the world that they have ever seen/read?” “How will I be able to show my face in this town again?”

And then there’s a more rational part to me that is just incredibly flattered.

Now if I could just find a decent ending to the play, I would be sailing.

***************************
Sidebar: I am also looking for a male actor for the staged reading on Saturday. Please let me know if you can think of anyone who might be interested/available.